


The Woods Are Lovely

by MalevolentReverie



Series: The Catharsis of Son Goku [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Darkfic, F/M, POV First Person, Psychological Trauma, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:13:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was so twisted. He was twisted. Sometimes I was his daughter. Other days, I played the role of the hostage. But every horrible, gruesome night, I became a woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dying

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is the sequel to "A Walking Shadow" and I find it more intense. Beware.

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

The chair flew out of my hands toward Goku’s head and he easily caught it in the air to place it back on the kitchen floor. I screamed furiously at how horribly fast his reflexes were and scrambled to hurl more things at him. Maybe he’d slip up and I’d knock him out. My whole body was trembling and I struggled to ignore his desperate pleading; the sad tone that made me trust him in the first place.

It made my stomach curl. It hurt to know how utterly stupid I was. How did I fall for such blatant tricks when it was right under my nose the entire time? I ripped open a drawer, rummaging around until I found a knife and twisted fast on my heel to hurl it across the table at Goku.

There was a twang as he caught it neatly between his index and middle fingers, still watching me anxiously. He wasn’t afraid of what I’d do to him. He was more concerned about what I’d do to myself. I lunged over the table, knocking both of us to the floor and straddled his hips to push the tip of the knife closer to Goku’s nose. He didn’t even look at it. He was staring at me. Worried.

Forget how I was trying to kill him. What if something happened to his precious Bulla? What if his carefully groomed pet was… hurt? I shoved all of my body weight to the knife and couldn’t even bring it to the hairs on his nose. It was so goddamn frustrating being the weak one. I could overpower any human male and most of the time, I could fight my own brother. Goku was disgustingly strong. 

In one swift movement, the knife was thrown across the floor and we were sitting up, with me between his legs. He held me close to his chest and kissed the top of my head. I burst into tears for the millionth time since he brought me home. It’d only been a week. I flickered between hating him and… and…

“Please don’t swear,” he whispered into my hair. “It isn’t nice.”

I screamed into his shirt, crying even harder. I’m trying to kill you and you’re concerned about curse words. It was so twisted. He was twisted. Sometimes I was his daughter. Other days, I played the role of the hostage. But every horrible, gruesome night, I became a woman.

At least Gohan was aggressive and treated me like I deserved. I didn’t know if Goku did it deliberately or was just so sick that he couldn’t tell the difference, but he took his sweet time and was nauseatingly gentle. He’d talk to me like I was five: crooning and murmuring and touching my hair. Now he had all the time in the world to do whatever he wanted.

Goku rose to his feet and carried me from the room toward the stairs, humming the same song he always did when I had a mental breakdown. I knew I was headed for a full psychotic episode; I’d lose my ability to tell the difference between reality and the house of nightmares I lived in. It was coming.

Upstairs, he carefully laid me on the bed. He sat beside me and pulled a pillow off my face when I tried to smother myself with it. His black eyes studied me, inquisitive and innocent. I hiccupped and wiped the tears from my cheeks. What if I died? Was that still an option? If I could get Goku off my back for ten minutes I could cut my own throat.

Big, clumsy fingers brushed my hair back. “You have to go to school soon. I want you to be smart and I promised your parents I’d let you go. Don’t worry; I’ll be there to make sure nothing happens to you. You mean everything to me. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

“Stop saying that,” I hissed, smacking his hand away. “You’re so creepy. I can’t believe you sat there and waited until I was old enough to rape. You’re fucking—”

“I said, don’t swear.”

I cackled. That’s the only way to describe it. I sounded like a witch.

“Bite me, Goku. Take the jewelry and the clothes and whatever stupid agreement you have with my parents and shove it up your FUCKING ASS.”

Goku looked away from me, down at his hands, and started twiddling his thumbs. His eyes were tearing up and his lower lip quivered. Oh, Jesus Christ. If he started crying I was going the hell home to tell my father so he could take a few pictures to jerk off on whenever his pride was wounded.

“I’m being nice,” Goku said. He was hunched over. Hiding. “I love you. Please be happy and please don’t swear. Those words hurt my ears, especially when they come out of your pretty mouth. They’re ugly.”

“You and your son have made me into a grown woman so I think it’s about time I start talking like one.”

“I don’t hurt you during sex. I’m always nice.”

“That isn’t the point.” I sat up, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Are you really this dumb or are you just avoiding the obvious? I think I’ve made it pretty fucking clear that—”

“Don’t swear.”

I took a deep breath. “Fuck you, fuck your son, fuck my parents, fuck everyone!”

It didn’t take much prodding to make Goku snap. He grabbed my hair and forced me to lie down across his lap, covering my mouth when I started shrieking. It’d only been a week and he knew exactly what I hated. He yanked my pants and underwear down and I gnawed desperately on his fingers. No, no, no; it hurt so much and it always stung for days after.

The only sound in the house was flesh hitting flesh, occasionally broken by my whimpering. Why did he have such big hands? I clenched his pants tightly in my sweating palms and grimaced every time he smacked me. I’d given up chewing my way through his fingers, leaving a layer of saliva on his skin that was uncomfortably sticky against my lips. 

Sometimes I expected my father to come charging through the door. Last-minute rescues were sort of his trademark so it wouldn’t surprise me. But he didn’t. I was left alone to deal with Goku and all the insanity that came along with him. No one was willing to help.

Goku began pulling up my pants a while later but stopped halfway and decided to take them off. He’d really drive the point home on certain nights with equally agonizing sex. That usually got me to shut up and calm down for a few more days, mostly because I was too busy being afraid to worry about fighting back. It was emotional shock therapy.

He laid me on my stomach and I was face first in the pillow I tried to suffocate myself with. It smelled good, like strawberries and the sun. I always thought sunlight had a certain scent after it had heated something up for a while. It was warm. It reminded me of spring.

“Nice and quiet,” Goku said, leaning across my back so he could hold the tops of my hands. “If I’m going to spend eternity with you, I don’t want you to be loud. You’ll be young and pretty forever.”

Sharp pain distracted me from worrying about spending forever trapped with Goku. He was one with the Dragon Balls: not physically, but spiritually they were very much connected. Shenron would gladly listen to any wish he wanted because after all, he was the savior of the entire universe. 

The only evil bone in his body willed him to subjugate and claim his childhood friend’s only daughter, eerily grooming her in the process. But in the grand scheme of things, that had to be like pinky bone-sized evil. It didn’t count. Goku was born a Saiyan man who was subjected to mortal desires.

Every time he pushed inside me, it hurt in a million different ways.


	2. Falling

Snow brought a special kind of silence to the world. It was pleasant to wake up to the big tufts drifting past the window as they slowly danced their way to the ground. I snuggled deeper into my sheets, enjoying the warmth and forgetting where I was for a few moments. Mom would bang on my door and tell me to get up for school. Eventually dad would get involved and demand I go.

Trunks was there. I was going back to the old days when he was still living at home. We were so close; closer than I ever was to Shoppa. He’d tell me about a girl he liked and I’d give him advice, because I knew better than anyone else about how dumb girls were. We watched movies, talked about how weird our lives were and complain about being half-Saiyan.

The bedroom door creaked open. “Bulla, it’s time to wake up.”

My brother vanished in a puff of smoke and I was dragged kicking and screaming back to the shadows. The sheets smelled like sex and fear. Throbbing pain between my legs tortured me in tempo with the stinging in my behind. There was nowhere for me to hide so I hid my face. If I couldn’t see him that meant he couldn’t see me. It was a comforting delusion. A lie.

Everyone lies. Truth itself is a lie because there’s always a facet—no matter how glaring the facts are—that will glimmer until you notice it. An inconsistency begging to be discovered. A snag in the new sweater I paid $50 for. Fine print in a contract. A jammed mechanism in the cold gun I’m wrapping my lips around. Hm. I could buy a gun.  
Goku crossed the room and placed something beside me on the bed. He tapped my shoulder as if I hadn’t noticed and I rolled my eyes before turning over to see what was so important. 

It was a breakfast tray. There were two pancakes on a plate with strawberries as the eyes and a smile made of burnt bacon. A cup of orange juice rested next to a small vase with a wilting sunflower barely dipped in a puddle of water. I stared at all of it blankly, wrestling with fifty different emotions.

“I picked the flower yesterday,” Goku said proudly, pushing the tray towards me so he could sit down. “It was perfect and I worried I wouldn’t remember where it was. Chi-Chi used to make breakfast for Gohan this way when it was his first day back to school and he seemed to like it. Do you?”

God, how did he do this to me? 

I nodded, covering my mouth to choke back sobs. If I cried he’d get bent out of shape and think he did something wrong. It was wrong but he didn’t get that. He never would. He beamed happily and offered me a fork, practically bouncing with excitement. This was the epitome of love in his eyes.

When I was finished eating he kept gabbing while I tiredly picked out my clothes for school. It was gonna be really awkward being at OSH with Pan. She’d probably smirk and mock me the entire day. Did everyone know what had happened or was it just our group? Was Goku technically my guardian?

He finally let me be alone to put on my makeup in the bathroom. I unzipped my pouch and fumbled with my blush, trembling too much to put it on properly. I threw it back in the bag and tried putting on eyeliner but nearly stabbed myself in the eye. Furious, I hurled the whole bag onto the floor and stomped on it a few times for good measure. I’d be plain Bulla today.

I yanked my hair into a ponytail, glaring at my reflection. Something was missing from my eyes. It was the light that happy people had. I pulled down my eyelids to check and strongly considered smashing the mirror. I didn’t want to see how horrible I looked. My makeup was ruined.

Goku knocked on the door and entered without my permission. He looked down at the bag on the floor and back up at me, brow furrowed in confusion. I waved him off, quickly turning from the mirror and smoothing the front of my shirt down. It was better to maintain a low profile at school from now on so no one would ask to hang out or be friends.

“You look pretty,” he said as he picked up the bag. “I don’t know why you use makeup. I don’t know why any girl does. You’ll have a good day at school and learn a lot. You don’t need to waste your time putting this stuff on.” He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Because if any boy looks at you wrong, I’ll snap his skinny little neck.”

I giggled. It wasn’t meant to be cute. It wasn’t even meant to come out of my mouth. I thought of movies where the crazy person is thrown in an asylum and spends the rest of their life laughing at everything that happens. What else are you supposed to do?

Instant transmission brought us outside of OSH, where a lot of students were milling about as they headed to class. They didn’t seem to notice our sudden appearance. I felt naked without my books in hand. Goku had plunged me back into the harsh world that was high school and I wanted to get away. But if I moved closer to him, everyone would know, and they’d talk.

They were swarming. My heart was racing. Couldn’t I go home and be dumb like Goku? What was the point in going to school? I was afraid of seeing everyone again after my month from hell. There’d be homework and studying and I’d have to worry about keeping myself afloat socially.

“Bulla?! Is that you?”

I looked up to see a familiar face hurrying towards me accompanied by two other girls. Shoppa practically leapt on me and I saw Goku take a hesitant step forward. It bothered him when people touched me. Over her shoulder I could see Pan struggling to keep her eyes averted from her grandfather while Marron, Krillin and 18’s daughter, seemed totally oblivious.

“Marron just started at OSH!” Shoppa said, releasing me. She kept her arm around my shoulders. “She was getting homeschooled but she only has two more years so her parents figured she might as well go to a normal high school. Pan didn’t tell us you were coming back. This is such a great surprise!”

“Krillin and 18 moved back into the area?” Goku asked.

“Yeah it wasn’t too long ago.” Marron tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, daddy said he was gonna visit with Mr. Gohan and Mrs. Briefs. They might be at Capsule Corp if you want to see them. Dad’s happy he can see everyone again.”

Goku was already gone. I knew why. He was hoping he could head Krillin off and explain what happened. He wanted to lie and twist the facts. He’d mutilate them enough that the glimmer of truth would blind poor Krillin from seeing all the bad garbage around it.

Pan was suddenly talking. The weight had been lifted from her shoulders. “So Bulla, do you want to hang out at my house later? We were gonna make friendship bracelets and watch movies.”

My heart was torn out of my chest. I couldn’t feel it beating. Pan’s house was the very worst place for me to be. I never wanted to see Gohan again and I had my doubts Goku would let me. He was still fuming over not getting to take my virginity, disgusting as it was. I shifted uncomfortably and Pan immediately backtracked to a new plan.

“We can hang out at grandpa’s,” she said. “What do you think of that? Me, you, Marron, and Shoppa, all together at grandpa’s, watching TV and talking. Does that sound better?”

God bless her. She was trying to help.

“Yes,” I blurted.

“Isn’t there more stuff to do at Capsule Corp?” Marron asked offhandedly. She leaned past Shoppa to look at me curiously. “But I guess your dad is a jerk so that wouldn’t work out.”

Everyone laughed, including me. It was true. Dad always threw a fit when I had friends over and lurked around the corners to make sure we weren’t doing anything suspicious. Goku would probably do the same thing for entirely different reasons. After all, Marron and Shoppa were in his preferred age group.

School wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be. They all knew I was trying to get my bearings, especially Pan, and my teachers were likewise sympathetic. I was exempted from homework for the week, which was a welcome relief. The boys remembered me and gawked as I strolled through the halls with my friends. The girls whispered but I wasn’t concerned. I never had been.

At the end of the day we all drove back to Goku’s house in Shoppa’s car. I was tentatively excited. Maybe Goku would be okay with my hanging out with my friends. They weren’t guys and as far as I knew, none of them liked girls so we could all peacefully socialize.

“This is so cute!” Marron squealed when we were inside. “It’s so little! I love little things!”

“That’s probably why you’re dating Tommy Higgins,” Shoppa said.

Marron stuck out her tongue. 

We all went in the kitchen and I made a few bags of popcorn that we poured into bowls. Pan wasn’t mad at me; another welcome relief. She included me in their conversations and helped bring me up-to-date on what had been happening recently. I was growing more comfortable. She was making it much easier to settle in and I realized that Gohan was a good parent regardless of what he had done to me. Pan was healthy and normal despite what Goku had been whispering in her ear for years.

All of us went upstairs and put a movie on for background noise while we made friendship bracelets. It was ridiculously easy for Pan and me thanks to our quick hands. We slowed down to fit in with the other two girls. Marron knew but it was better that Shoppa didn’t. Pan winked at me when Shoppa wasn’t looking and Marron flipped us off as she struggled to untie a knot.

We were all sitting on the bed, shoving popcorn in our mouths and giggling over boys. I could feel some of the ice in my heart receding. I felt pleasantly warm.

The door banged open downstairs and everyone perked up immediately. Goku shouted my name and I began to tremble but only Pan noticed. She gently pushed my hands down so they were hidden in my lap and scooted closer, keeping an arm around my waist. My eyes were wide. I was prey.

Goku appeared in the open frame of the room, fists clenched with an angry scowl on his face. He checked the closet and headed around the house to sweep for boys again before coming back in the bedroom. Marron and Shoppa quickly moved out of the way when he started towards us but I knew he wouldn’t risk doing anything to either of them. He reached out to grab my hair and I squeezed my eyes shut. I was going to be humiliated in front of everyone.

There was a resounding smack.

The other two girls gasped and I felt arms around me. I risked a peek to see Goku had recoiled, holding his cheek and staring at Pan, who was hugging me protectively. Her lip curled and I could have sworn I felt her growling a bit. Goku rubbed his face without blinking.

“Leave her alone,” she said, “or else.”

The blackness in Goku’s eyes expanded and he started smiling. I’d been around him enough to know what that meant. I struggled out of Pan’s grasp and took his face between my hands to make him look at me; just a distraction to keep him away from her. He didn’t like when other people touched me. I knew how it was in his mind. I belonged to him and Pan was trying to steal me.

“Let’s talk about this downstairs,” I whispered, keeping my voice gentle and calm. 

“Bulla, what are you doing? My dad won’t let him do this.” Pan pulled on the back of my shirt. “It’s only grandpa. If you stuff some food in his face—”

“Grandpa” took a menacing step forward and I forced his eyes back to mine. He was mad. I was used to his spurts of rage but I didn’t want him to accidentally hurt the other girls. I climbed out of bed and he regained control, grabbing a fistful of my hair to drag me out of the room and down the stairs. Pan chased us without hesitation. She screamed at him.

We were in the basement and the door was slammed shut then locked. Goku threw me against the wall and pinned my wrists, practically boiling with fury. I was so terrified that my knees were literally knocking. He leaned close and crushed his pelvis against mine.

“I never told you to bring them here,” he said. “Why would you do that? You should ask me first. Do I not make you happy? What if one of them hurt you when I wasn’t here?”

“I’m s-sorry, they’re girls so I—”

“NO.” He let my wrist go to slam his fist on the wall next to my head and grabbed my throat with his other hand. “No excuses. You’re mine, Bulla. I waited a long time and worked really hard to make sure you were. I don’t want these strange girls touching you.”

“I’ve known all of them my whole life,” I whimpered, pulling at the hand around my neck. “Please, Goku, you can’t keep me away from them. I need girls to talk to, you know? There are things guys don’t get. We were just making bracelets and talking.”

His temper flared. “What do you talk about? Me? I hope you tell them I’m nice to you because I am. I try hard to be nice to you until you do rude, hurtful things that make me upset. I don’t want you going to school. You’re going to stay home and… and we’re going to love each other. No more visitors.”

I burst into tears and he shoved me into the wall, trying to make me stop. It was hard. My heart wanted to let it out and there was no way to swallow it back. I coughed as I sobbed and Goku backed away, running his hands through his hair and pacing back and forth. My legs were too weak to hold me up and I sank to the floor to curl into a ball while I cried. He hated tears.

The door was blown off its hinges. Goku had scarcely turned around before Gohan came walking down the stairs with Pan trailing furiously behind him. Two familiar faces came after: Krillin and 18, though they were much older now. Gohan strode forward with purpose and grabbed his father by the collar of his shirt while Pan rushed past him to get to me. She didn’t touch. I was too fragile.

“Thank goodness you’re okay,” she said with relief. “I immediately went to get dad. I’ve never seen grandpa like that and I was worried he’d do something dumb. Are… are you okay?”

Suddenly, my emotions changed. The crying stopped. I giggled as tears rolled down my cheeks.

Krillin held his wife back with one short arm. 18 was staring at me in disbelief. Her eyes flickered to Goku and she rocked back on her heels. It was a mother’s instinct to protect and comfort. 

“You will respect my daughter,” Gohan said coldly, inches away from Goku’s face. “If she’s here, all of this nonsense ceases. Bulla is Pan’s friend and she doesn’t like seeing her this way.”

Goku was looking straight past his son to Krillin. He smiled weakly, attempting the charming smile that won everyone over. Krillin stared at him for a few seconds and 18 put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at me before hiding his face in his hands and muttering, “oh my god.”

“She loves me,” Goku said. Defending his delusions.

“How do you figure?” Gohan pulled harder on his father’s shirt. He wasn’t in the mood for beating around the bush. “You are one demented son of a bitch. We all have kids around Bulla’s age and none of us are very supportive of this, dad. Bulma can’t stop crying and Vegeta stares at the wall all day. Capsule Corps’ stocks are plummeting because Trunks doesn’t want to bother with it.”

“Stocks are way beyond Goku’s comprehension,” Android 18 said. She looked down at her husband and her face hardened. “A lot of things are beyond Goku’s comprehension.”

The cement was turning dark in small circles under Krillin. He was crying. He shook slightly and 18 leaned down to hug him around the shoulders. Pan helped me sit up and we watched Goku free himself from Gohan’s grasp so he could walk toward his friend. He hesitated a few feet away and reached out toward Krillin. Mom told me they’d known each other forever.

Krillin looked up at Goku. They stared at each other. He wiped his eyes and shook his head sadly, turning his back and heading toward the stairs. Pan was fingering the edge of my sleeve.

“Krillin, she loves me,” Goku said excitedly. He turned a few times, taking in everyone’s facial expressions. “Why isn’t anyone else happy? Bulla loves me. She wants me. I don’t know why you all get so mad about it. Is Goten jealous? I thought we were joking when we said they’d get married.”

No one moved or spoke. I shivered. Gohan glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

When Krillin turned back around, Goku beamed. He pushed past his friend and headed towards me, kneeling down a foot or so away. Despite myself, I curled my legs under my bottom and pressed closer to Pan. I’d gotten into the habit of not trusting men. They usually screwed me over. Literally.

He had a friendly face. Marron definitely looked more like 18.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I hope you know why I don’t want my daughter coming here. She’s your age and I just…” He paused and swallowed back more tears. “I saw your mother today and I couldn’t do that to my wife. Do you understand?”

Of course I understood. What crazy person in their right mind would want their daughter hanging around a confirmed lunatic? I nodded rapidly and Krillin smiled. He turned to pat Pan on the head and rose to his feet, done with what he needed to do. Goku watched in confusion as his best friend swiftly headed up the stairs, dragging Marron along with him. She waved to me sadly.

Android 18 turned to Gohan. “You’d be better off keeping Pan away. He’s on a slippery slope and I doubt he’ll be able to differentiate between them for much longer.”

“I’m not leaving Bulla,” Pan said firmly. “I knew about this and I never said anything. Now I need to be here to help when she needs me.”

18 smiled and left.

Gohan ran a hand through his hair and turned to Pan. “Come on, let’s go. We need to check on your mother. She’s been awfully moody today and the drama isn’t helping.”

“No. I’m staying with Bulla.”

“Pan, for the love of god, get off the floor and let’s go.”

Pan hugged me tighter. “No.”

“Fine, I’ll stay here and watch her if it means that much to you.”

I could hear her swallow and feel her heart beat faster. She was getting nervous. Gohan usually bent over backwards to do what Pan wanted. What was she upset about?”

“Do you really think it’s any safer for her to be with you, dad?” Pan asked.

That was the icing on the cake. Goku suddenly wasn’t stone anymore: he was laughing so hard he had to lean on the wall to keep from collapsing. I gawked openly at Pan. She knew about what her father did? Why wasn’t she mad at me? More importantly, why wasn’t she mad at him?

Gohan tried to save face. He straightened his tie and beckoned Pan. “Let’s go. I don’t know what you heard or who you heard it from, but I bet it isn’t true.”

It explained a lot. Pan felt guilty now. Not only had her grandfather molested and kidnapped me, but she knew that her father had more or less done the same things. She was trying to be there for me because it was her godforsaken family that caused all my problems in the first place. Thankfully someone besides Goku knew because he was absolutely useless with feelings.

“At first I was angry,” Pan said, gazing at her father. “I was mad at Bulla for a while until I realized that none of this was her fault. It’s you two. There’s something wrong with both of you. Grandpa gave in to it but dad… you’re just hiding it better. You’re smart so you know how to. I just can’t believe that my family can cause someone else so much pain. I can’t believe you can stand here and yell at grandpa when you did the same thing without hesitation.

“Daddy, how can you go home and look at mom? She cares about you. I’m going to have a sibling soon and you’re too busy fighting with grandpa over a girl who doesn’t like either of you. I bet Vegeta could kill you, dad. He would if he knew what you did. He’d rip you apart if he knew you’ve wanted her just as long as grandpa has. No wonder grandma killed herself. She was living with a bunch of creeps.”

Goku wasn’t laughing anymore. He wasn’t even moving.

Gohan strode forward to grab Pan by the arm and rip her away from me. He didn’t look mad but he did look scared out of his mind. She screamed at him at he dragged her upstairs and the sound of her comforting voice disappeared a few moments later. 

I slumped over on the floor again.


	3. Crawling

We were sitting in the living room, quietly mulling over what had happened. I was mildly afraid that Goku would take his anger out on me but he was still as stone. He held his forehead in his hands and stared at the floor while I nervously bit my nails. Pan had hurt both her father and grandfather. They were being forced to come to terms with a side of themselves they didn’t like.

Part of me wished Goku would let me go home. He’d have an epiphany and realize that what he was doing was very wrong and all of his friends were leaving him. Krillin was especially angry and I had my doubts he’d ever be the same after seeing how Goku really was behind the big smile.

He abruptly rose from the couch and walked out the front door, slamming it shut. I wanted to upstairs but I was afraid to stand up. I decided to turn on the TV and watch cartoons to distract myself in his absence. There was no point in trying to run away, after all. He could find me no matter where I went.

Hours passed. When it got dark I was to hungry to keep sitting and waiting so I got up to make myself some dinner. As I put a bagel in the toaster a strange sensation passed over me. I shook it off and rubbed the goosebumps from my arms. It was weird being alone. Goku was almost always hovering around to keep an eye on me.

As I finished eating my bagel, the front door opened. I hopped off the chair and walked into the living room, curious to see what Goku had been up to all night. There were a few feet moving and I could smell beer in the air. Since when did Goku drink? He couldn’t even get drunk with how fast hi metabolism was. I hung back to peer around the corner.

Goku was supporting an obviously drunk Gohan, who was in turn carrying a brown bag with what I assumed were the Dragon Balls. My eyes narrowed. Mom kept them under lock and key at the house in case we needed to make a wish. Goku must’ve been worried they’d be used against him.

Gohan tilted his bottle of beer and drank the entire thing in a second flat. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he looked around the room until he noticed me watching them. He pointed at me, dropping the bag of Dragon Balls on the floor, and stumbled forward while Goku hastily picked them up. I backed away until I felt the edge of the table digging into my spine. Gohan slammed the empty bottle on the table and put his arms on either side of me, pressing his pelvis against mine.

“You’re a liar,” he said, struggling to make a coherent sentence. “Pan won’t talk to me and if she… is she tells Videl, I dunno what I’m gonna do. If you just kept your mouth shut—” He clapped a hand over my lips, panting the reek of alcohol—“none of this would’ve happened.”

I grimaced. Why did I ever like drinking?

My fellow half-Saiyan leaned closer. “I don’t like you. You’re a brat and your parents raised you wrong. But god, I’d give anything to fuck you again. Goten would. I bet Trunks would if you weren’t related.” Gohan paused and started laughing. “Y’know what, I bet Trunks would anyway. And of course your daddy would want to because he has to be better than us at something.”

Then he was gone. Goku had pulled him away by the back of his shirt, leaving me trembling and gripping the edge of the table. Gohan wriggled free and shuffled out of the kitchen like a wounded animal to collapse on the couch. I yanked a chair between Goku and me when we started towards me. He stood still with his hands out. My mood was being gauged like a deer’s.

“He’s only here for the night,” Goku said. “I promise he’ll leave tomorrow morning. We just had to talk about a few things and he was really upset about Pan. Did anything happen while I was gone? How are you feeling?”

“Stay away from me. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Goku frowned. “Bulla, you’re going to make me mad again. Gohan is my son and he needed a place to stay. Goten’s busy with Valese so I figured he could sleep here for the night. I’m not going to let him anywhere near you.” He glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping son and back at me. The eerie smile was back. “Why don’t you talk to him?”

“Do I really need to list off the reasons?” I asked.

“He’s sad. I’m sure you can make him feel better somehow. I’m gonna go upstairs and go to bed. You can come up whenever you’re done, okay?”

“Whenever I’m done? What the hell does that mean?”

“Maybe he’s mad because I won’t share,” Goku muttered, walking away. “If I can share her sometimes, he’ll be nicer and someone will finally understand…”

Before I could say anything more, he was gone. 

My palms were sweating profusely. I was relieved to see that Gohan was still very much asleep, unmoving and snoring quietly against the pillows. Goku wouldn’t let go to bed until I did what he wanted which was definitely not going to happen. It was hard to breathe.

I silently skirted past the living room and headed down into the basement, nimbly avoiding the broken door lying at the bottom steps. There was nowhere else to go. Gohan was passed out and his insane father’s deteriorating mind had thought up another harebrained scheme so I was subjected to sleeping on the couch in the cold basement. 

Exhausted, I lay down on the couch and pulled a thin blanket over myself. Goku would come to his senses in the morning and thank me for not following through with the dumb ideas that popped in his head. I closed my eyes and fumed over how dumb he acted.

The stairs creaked.

I sat up quickly to see Gohan standing on the bottom stair. He stepped down, eyes focused intently on me, and took his hand off the railing. We stared at each other. I pulled the blanket closer to my chest and prayed he was just coming down to see what I was doing. Pan would be even angrier if he did something stupid again and Gohan was a smart guy.

“I’ve been lying to myself for a long time,” he said.

The basement was dark but I could see his eyes rake down the blanket, trying to remember what was underneath. I felt sick. Goku had gone from wanting to keep me from everyone to granting his son permission to use me like a borrowed hairbrush. Someone needed to tell Videl.

Gohan walked forward and knelt beside the couch. He reached out to touch my knee but I curled my legs under myself again, pulling back uncomfortably. His hand hovered there for a few moments before returning back to his hair. He was gonna go bald if he kept brushing it back all the time.

“Pan was right. She always is.” He looked at the floor. “She got that from her mother. I think I’m subconsciously jealous and I think… I think I have the same urges he does. That worries me tremendously. Sometimes I’d feel it if Pan had her friends over and it upset me that dad was doing exactly what I was wishing I could do. 

“When you came into my office, I couldn’t help myself. Dad understood so he didn’t kill me, though I know he could have. It isn’t you, Bulla. It’s us. I think something in Saiyan males drives them to the extremes humans won’t go to for young women. A lot of men want the innocence and the bodies of girls your age but very few of them are willing to risk pursuing it.

“I always knew Saiyans were an evil, stupid race but I thought we could resist it. We all have the desire in us. We gag and scold dad for what he’s doing while inside, all of us know we’d do the same thing if we could. We’re animals. I’m guessing the urges come out fully in middle age.”

I stared at him. “Your father wanted me the day I was born.”

“Dad isn’t afraid to submit to what he wants. If you haven’t noticed, he’s been getting worse in recent years. It doesn’t help that he’s immortal.”

“You’re wrong. My dad doesn’t want girls my age. He fights with mom a lot but they love each other. He’s calmed down and he wants to make her happy. You’re just making excuses for Goku being a complete freak, and now for yourself, too. The two of you are the ones with problems.”

“There’s always a reason.” Gohan looked up at me tiredly. “I’ve been searching for one for a long time and this is all I’ve come up with. I’m sure if we talked to your brother…”

No. I’d put up with a lot of things from the Son family in recent months but I wouldn’t let them tell me my father and brother were closeted pedophiles. I’d known Goten pretty well from when he used to hang around Trunks all the time and I could attest to both of them definitely not creeping on little girls. Goten had been obsessed with Valese for a long time. 

Trunks was like dad. He’d probably go between girls for a long time before he found one that fit him well. I never saw him looking sideways at Shoppa; I never worried when Goten and I sat in his bedroom talking while he made pizza downstairs. I saw Goten as a brother, just like I saw Gohan and Goku as my uncles. I trusted them with every fiber of my being.

Looking into Gohan’s eyes, I could see the same murky confusion that never left Goku’s. Both of them were sick. Why? I had no idea. But I knew in my heart that no one else in my family would hurt me the way they did. I wouldn’t allow either of them to convince me that their behavior was normal in any way, shape, or form. My parents didn’t raise an idiot.

“Look, it’s pretty obvious that you and Goku have some issues to work out,” I said. “You can’t pin the blame on being a Saiyan. This goes way beyond that.”

Gohan suddenly got on the couch and leaned over me. I shrank back. He smelled like cologne and beer. It wasn’t a good combination.

“It’s in our blood to dominate,” he said.

“My dad understands the Saiyan race better than any of you shmucks and he never mentioned any of this to me or my mother. Don’t you think he would? It’d be a big concern of his that his daughter growing up around a bunch of ticking time bombs. You don’t know anything about Saiyans.”

“I know they wiped out planets because of their bloodlust. Vegeta was a child when the planet was destroyed. He doesn’t know everything.”

“He knows a lot more than you,” I snapped, hugging my knees. “You’re lying to yourself. It isn’t a normal, Saiyan thing to be a raging pedophile.”

He gently touched my cheek. His wedding band felt cold against my skin. “I was going to ask Pan to have her friends sleepover tonight. If dad could trick you, why couldn’t I do it to them? Videl is pregnant and in a few years, our next daughter might be bringing home more of her little girlfriends. I want them all. But for now, I think you’ll suffice.”

My fury boiled over. I slapped Gohan hard across the face and he pushed me down by my throat, pressing harder until I was gurgling for air. We were more evenly matched than I was against Goku but it was still a losing battle. I coughed and struggled to breathe while his quivering hands pulled at my clothes, tearing them in a rush. My head was spinning.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” he muttered, shaking his head as I pushed his chest in a futile struggle. “No. Nothing. You’re sixteen; that practically makes you an adult. I know you want me. Pan will understand when I explain everything to her. Yes… Pan will get it.”

Why did it have to be the Son family? I’d grown up with them. Goten and Trunks used to bring me swimming when we were kids. Gohan and Videl babysat me. Goku watched me the rest of the time but I never thought… I didn’t think… what the hell was wrong with all of them?

The couch creaked and slid a few inches across the floor every time we came together. It was silent otherwise. Gohan was afraid to make a lot of noise: I had a feeling this was a surprise gift from Goku and he was concerned his father would hear and come tear his head off. He buried his face in my neck, panting and groaning as sticky heat built up under the blanket. I lay perfectly still.

Was I wrong? Was this normal? Did this kind of evil exist within my father and brother? Was it inside Goten? All the times we wrestled and he pinned me were starting to feel less innocent. What if every male I had known was just working towards grooming me?

Gohan kissed me passionately, trying to make me move. I was a block of ice. My world was turned upside down. I thought he only hurt me to hurt his father. He outright insulted Goku and told him what he was doing was wrong. I wasn’t a stranger to hypocrisy but this was much worse. It was a sign that Gohan had the same intense delusions his father did, which meant I was in even more danger.

They were both certifiably insane. Goku was too dumb to notice. Gohan was too smart to let it show. Did that mean my father, brother and Goten were hiding their own ugly desires? Dad could have been hiding it by being aloof. Trunks did the same thing—he never talked to me anymore. Goten acted a lot like his father and now he had Valese to act as a cover.

I wanted to throw up.

It was over after what felt like an eternity. Gohan collapsed on top of me without pulling out. I had a feeling I’d wind up pregnant and I’d be crocheting blankets with Valese and Videl. We lay there, unmoving and quiet while Gohan caught his breath and kissed my neck.

I’d have to find a gun when he left. I’d gladly put the barrel down my throat if it meant I didn’t have to be subjected to torment for another day. The bugs were crawling under my flesh again, teasing me with tiny nibbles that made my fingers arch. I had to scratch them out. I had to gouge out my eyes.

Gohan pushed himself up. There was sheen of sweat across his chest. He hesitantly kissed my forehead, shushing me when I whimpered. Maybe he’d slip up and snap my neck.

“Now I understand,” he whispered.

When we fell asleep, I was wrapped tightly in his arms. I couldn’t even cry.


	4. Guilty

“Why did this have to happen to us?”

My eyes slowly opened, crusty and heavy from a poor night’s sleep. I could hear sobbing upstairs through the thin floor. Someone sighed and said something. The floorboards creaked above me and water was run into a container. I unwillingly sat up and rubbed the tiredness from my eyes.

Gohan was already gone. It was a relief not to confront him after a harrowing experience. A small smile alighted upon my face as I picked up the tattered pieces of my clothes. Harrowing? No, that was too weak of a word to describe what I had been going through in the past month. The English language hadn’t invented a strong enough term for the trauma that hit me so hard I couldn’t even feel it.

I wrapped the blanket around myself as best as I could and headed upstairs. It smelled good, like eggs and bacon. Goku must have felt guilty. My legs were trembling as snippets of the previous night oozed into my mind. Gohan cried too much. He talked way too much. I always tried to imagine I was somewhere else and it was really difficult with him crying in my ear like a baby.

The second my foot touched the first floor, Goku’s curious face peeked around the wall. He beamed and set down the plate of food in his hands (that was a first) to scoop me up off the floor in a hug. Being touched made my skin crawl. His skin was warm and moist—he’d just taken a shower. I could go for one of those. I went limp in his grasp until he set me back down, still grinning ear to ear.

“I knew you’d do the right thing,” he said, bending over to kiss my forehead. “That’s because you got your morality from your mother, not Vegeta. He’s always had trouble being a good guy. Then again, I can think of a few times Bulma did mean things when we were kids. Anyway, are you hungry?”

I looked at the window across the room. It was snowing, but I could see that the sun was high in the sky. Goku fixed the blanket around me and I frowned.

“No school?” I asked.

“Lucky for you they called it off because of the weather. I talked to Gohan for a while and he thinks it’s a good idea for you to go. Just don’t bring anyone home without my permission, okay?”

My stomach flipped. “W-why is he still here?”

“Well he and I were talking and it turns out we have a lot more in common than we thought.” Goku moved on to rearranging my hair. He was just making it worse. “But don’t worry, you’ll always be mine. I only shared you so he would understand how I feel.”

“You can’t share me,” I said, grabbing his hand so he’d pay attention to me. “I’m a human being.”

“But… you’re mine. And you want to make me happy so why wouldn’t you want to do things I ask? Why wouldn’t you want to make my family happy, too? Gohan was having a hard time coming to terms with himself and you finally showed him that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Arguing with Goku was like trying to staple water to a tree. He led me out into the kitchen, where Gohan was sitting at the table with his hands around a coffee mug. His eyes were puffy and red and he sniffled before he noticed us enter, at which point he struggled to not look at me. The temptation was strong.

I sat down and Goku pushed a plate of food in front of me. My appetite was all but gone. I still ate a bit to keep him from worrying and shoving it down my throat by force. He sat down between Gohan and I and glanced between us a few times. Goku was never good at measuring people’s feelings. Half of the time, he didn’t understand the relationships he already had until it was too late.

Luckily, Gohan fully comprehended the implications of what he had done. He was a grown man; he knew he’d have to say something to me sooner or later. From the corner of my eye, I saw him tugging on the collar of his shirt. Social cues were a tremendous pressure.

Goku was growing impatient. “Pan is going to come visit us more and Gohan said you can go to their house whenever you want. Valese and Videl are having their baby shower today so we can go see everyone. Isn’t that great? Your parents will be there. Gohan told me they can’t wait to see you.”

The steel fork in my hand snapped in two. No. He had to be a sadist.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said quietly. “I don’t want mom and dad to see me like this and Pan has enough to worry about. I’m still trying to accept this and you aren’t making it any easier.”

“But Bulla, I thought you missed them.” Goku looked at his son, genuinely confused. “Doesn’t she? We can all still be friends. A few things have changed but it’s mostly the same.”

“A few things?” I echoed.

Goku nodded. “You just live with me now.”

I was trembling with rage. Gohan actually flinched when I screamed and threw the plate across the room, smashing it on the opposite wall. He pulled his mug closer to himself while his father scowled and started to reprimand me. I got to my feet quickly, making my chair clatter to the floor, and turned to grab Gohan by the collar of his shirt.

“How can you put up with this?” I shrieked, shaking him. “How did this fucking buffoon raise two children?! He doesn’t even know… he really doesn’t get that what he’s doing is wrong! I can scream it in his face as many times as I want and he’ll never understand. He’ll always give me that stupid fucking blank stare.” I dragged Gohan to his feet and his shirt began to rip.

“Tell me how you do it. Please, TELL ME HOW YOU FUCKING DO IT! I can’t live with him! I thought my parents were insane until I got to know your father. You’re the only slightly sane person who can help me so why won’t you?! Make him stop! Make him bring me home! I miss my parents. I miss Trunks. I miss having friends and… just make it STOP!”

Silence.

My grip weakened on Gohan and he turned his eyes to the floor, ashamed. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I began sobbing, throwing him back in the chair and leaning on the wall. Goku immediately got to his feet to comfort me and I angrily shoved him away. He looked so confused. He really didn’t get it.

“Bulla, please don’t cry,” he said nervously. “I don’t like when you cry.”

All the stress had piled up too high. I couldn’t take Goku head-to-head, but I did know where all men were vulnerable. I spun quickly to knee him between the legs and he crumpled to the floor in pain. I made a mad dash for the door, surprised that Gohan didn’t react. Freedom.

A buffet of howling snow was there to greet me when I tore the door open. I laughed and ran into the blizzard, enjoying the feeling of the wind in my hair and the bitingly cold snow on my bare feet. It was freezing. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. The flimsy blanket didn’t do much to protect me from the elements but I was running, running, running… 

I was tackled to the ground at the edge of the woods. Goku twisted my arms behind my back as I screamed and thrashed. So close. Only a few more seconds and I might have been able to get away. Snow blanketed my whole body and I shivered violently as I was brought back inside and thrown on the floor. The smell of the snow was gone. Mmm. Pancakes sounded good.

Goku flipped me over on my back and tore the blanket away so I was left lying naked on the cold floor. He wasn’t happy—I’d insulted his manhood. There was nothing to do but go limp and wait for him to finish being angry. He grabbed my hair and pulled, grinning when I whimpered, and bent down to kiss me. As our lips brushed, he stopped. He watched me for a moment then looked toward the kitchen.

“Why don’t you do it, Gohan?” he asked. 

Fear spread through me like poison. No. I’d rather die.

I heard Gohan choke a bit. “What? Are you serious?”

"Of course! Bulla learns best this way and I’m sure she won’t try any more cheap shots—” He yanked fiercely on my hair until I yelped in pain. “—if she knows what the consequences are. Isn’t that right, Bulla? Remember when we had our little talk about swearing?”

I’d never had an urge to kill someone before I got involved with Goku. On top of wanting to shove a gun down my throat every time I woke up, I was now constantly barraged by the desire to slit Goku’s throat. Unfortunately, he was immortal because the fucking universe couldn’t bear to lose him.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Gohan said with a tremor in his voice. 

“Awww, come on. You can take her upstairs and I’ll take over when you’re done. It’s even better when she’s all scared and jumpy.” Goku ground his arousal into me, quickly losing control over himself. Fear sometimes brought out a very violent side of him. “See? She’s great.”

“No. I need to get home to check on Videl and Pan. I’ll… keep in touch.”

Suddenly, Goku got up from the floor, dragging me along with him. He swept me up bridal style and held me out towards his son, who had risen from the table. I tried to curl into a ball as Gohan’s eyes swept down my body. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. Go home to your family. Think about what you’re doing and how stupid it is.

Goku frowned. “I’m sharing her with you. That’s hard for me to do, y’know. It won’t happen very often so if you want her, this will be your last chance for a while. Come on, Gohan. She’s so little and pretty. Don’t you want to one more time before you go? No one will ever know.”

Gohan stared at me and licked his lips. “One more time couldn’t hurt.”

“Exactly. You’ll be doing me a big favor, too.” Goku smiled down at me malevolently. “Bulla really hurt me and I don’t think she’ll understand unless I do the same. Plus, I need some time to cool down. She’s still half human and I don’t want to break any of her sweet, tiny bones by accident.”

It was never a good idea to make Goku angry. He was still dumb but he got frighteningly creative when his pride was wounded. He offered me to Gohan again, who hesitantly stepped forward to take me from his father’s arms. I wanted to cry. There were no tears left. Gohan stood there and stared at me until Goku urged him to go and then we were going upstairs…

Lying down on my stomach with my face in the pillow made it easier for both of us. I could close my eyes and only scarcely hear him panting and he could pretend I was someone else. Probably Videl. Then again, that defeated the whole purpose of it. Gohan curled his palm over the top of my hand and his wedding ring burned my skin. He wanted to look at me but the crippling guilt made it difficult.

I’d gotten over feeling disgusting afterwards. It was routine now. But I’d never be able to ignore the sick feeling of fear that penetrated me to the core. He was groaning my name. In and out, in and out. My spine was starting to hurt from curving upwards to meet his thrusts. He’d figured it out after last night. If he just didn’t look me in the eye, it was easy to pretend I wanted it.

Weird. I could still remember watching Gohan and Goku fight some of the biggest threats to our world; to the universe. Never in my life had I imagined I’d be in bed with them, trying to pin the sounds of sex on something else to soothe myself. The way the bed creaked reminded me of a boat. His heavy breathing could’ve been from an intense battle. 

Punishment wasn’t Gohan’s strong suit and he growled as he emptied inside me, leaned over my back so we were perfectly contoured together. He didn’t collapse on me but held himself up as he caught his breath and trembled. I felt him kiss down my spine. Why did women even have sex? What did we get?

“That was a good enough penalty,” he said as he pulled away. “I couldn’t hurt you any more if I tried.”

There was nothing to say. I lay on the bed silently until he rose, kissing my head before he left. The bedroom door opened and both of them said a few things. I heard them pat each other on the back—were they hugging? The door shut again and I flipped over when I felt Goku sit on the bed.

He was untying the sash around his waist, smiling at me. He still looked mad. “Don’t worry, Bulla. I would never forget about you.”

Gohan had been my last hope but his father had once again manipulated someone without even trying. I knew why he was gladly ‘sharing’ me with his son when he couldn’t even stand the thought of girls touching me. He wanted to get him hooked. He wanted a partner; someone he could discuss the hobby with. I would be tossed around until Gohan couldn’t resist finding a girl of his own.

I started laughing as Goku dragged me over to his lap by my hair and stopped when my lips were otherwise occupied. How sweet. I brought father and son together.


	5. Losing

A telltale red liquid streamed down my thighs, mixing with the soap from my hair to make pink suds that swirled around the drain before disappearing. It wasn’t an uncommon sight. Goku was well-endowed. That resulted in lots of blood when it was coupled with his angry aggression. My hands hung limply at my sides as I absently watched my bodily fluids combining with his and Gohan’s.

Did prostitutes feel the same emptiness when they took showers? I felt like a blowup doll. I existed to be a receptacle for the disgusting stuff that came out of them. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to have the waste of two men inside me. I leaned my head back to rinse out my hair and closed my eyes.

Alright, maybe I hadn’t gotten over feeling dirty and used when they were done. It was hard to convince myself I was okay. With all the lies tossed around every day, the last person I wanted to fib to was myself. I rubbed my arms and shivered as my skin began to crawl. No, this wasn’t how I wanted anyone to see me, even Pan. I hoped Gohan had the sense to keep her away.

The bleeding seemed to have stopped when I got out of the shower but I didn’t feel any cleaner. I dried myself off and put on a set of Goku’s famous orange training outfit; just one of the many copies he kept lying around. He didn’t want me in my clothes. He liked how I looked in his much more.

Goku was sitting in the living room watching TV when I came downstairs. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just boxers. He turned and smiled at me as I walked toward him, arms folded against my chest. I sat down beside him and he put an arm around my shoulders. It was kind of cold so I moved closer to steal some of his outrageous body heat.

He squinted at the screen as police officers chased down a criminal. “Why do people watch this stuff? It’s sad. Cartoons are much better.”

“It’s interesting. There’s more going on and there’s a plot. It makes you think.”

“The last thing I want to do when I’m watching TV is think. I can’t wait for the snow to thaw so I can go outside again. I hate being cooped up indoors. Lucky for me I have a pretty girl to keep me company.”

“Yeah, lucky you,” I muttered.

Soon he changed the channel and my thoughts began to wander. It was getting dark out and I was drowsy from yet another stressful day. I slumped over in his lap; eyes closed, and listened to the cartoon characters while his fingers idly played with my hair. It was times like those that made me almost forgive him and try to imagine making something between the two of us work.

But I always stepped back. I always got a grip and remembered what Goku had done to me. He didn’t understand love at all. It was obvious by the way he acted on a daily basis. He did what he wanted to do and shirked responsibility. Buying me things and rubbing my back didn’t mean he genuinely cared.

Still, it was a comforting thought when I was constantly barraged by loneliness and self-loathing. If I was gonna be stuck with him until I died, I might as well become as insane as he was. My mind drifted to what it would be like in five years, whether or not I’d actually want to sleep with him, and if I would ever accidentally get pregnant with another Goku lookalike.

Thinking of pregnancy reminded of something important. I yawned and snuggled closer to Goku, making him murmur about how sweet I was. What was I forgetting? I knew it was—

My eyes popped open as it hit me.

Oh shit.

Numbers circulated in my head so fast I couldn’t keep up with them; days, weeks, months. Was I doing the math right? It had never been my strong suit so there was a possibility I was wrong. I stared at the TV, struggling to recalculate and praying I was wrong. 

So far, my period was exactly one week late. It had been so stressful that I didn’t notice. I gripped Goku’s thigh tightly and bit my lower lip. We hadn’t had sex until the day my period was due, which meant the only possibility was… 

There had to be some mistake.

I sat up and touched Goku’s arm to get his attention. He got distracted too easily. This was something that needed attention now. “Goku. Do you have a calendar and a pen?”

It wasn’t connecting in his head. He looked confused but nodded and rose from the couch to get one from the kitchen wall. When he handed it to me along with a pen I began scribbling down my last periods, hoping seeing it on paper would help. Goku watched curiously as I calculated when mine should’ve started. It was normal for me to be off by a few days but a week was strange.

Five days. That wasn’t very comforting. How was I supposed to ask Goku to get me a pregnancy test? I could lie and say it was only possible for him to be the father but that wasn’t true. There was no way. I couldn’t have gotten pregnant in the past week. No, only one man fell in the right time period.

“What’s wrong?” Goku asked as I set the calendar on the coffee table. “Are you sick?”

I took a deep breath. Awkward. So awkward.

“We need to do something very important,” I began, trying to find the right words. 

Goku cocked his head and beamed. “Do you want me again? I thought you’d be tired. Usually Chi-Chi only could a few times a week because it hurt her.”

“No, Goku. We need to go to the store and buy something.”

“Oh. What kind of thing? Wouldn’t you rather watch TV than go outside? It’s dark and cold.”

“Listen to me. This is very, very important.” I reached out to take his cheeks between my hands, making him look at me. “We need to buy pregnancy tests.”

I never wanted to put the idea of having kids in his head but I couldn’t ignore being late for my period. He’d do nothing but hassle me about it for the next few weeks and beg me to have a baby or two. Goku was prone to obsessing over things for a little while until the next shiny object caught his eye.

Bewilderment passed across the Saiyan’s face. He shifted on the couch and took my hands in his. “You’re saying… you’re pregnant?”

“I’m not sure, that’s why I need tests.”

Goku shook his head and gently pushed me back so he could lean down and press his ear to my lower abdomen. He remained there for a few minutes without moving an inch. It took me a while to understand what he was doing. Of course: if there was anything growing in me, it would have an energy signature. It’d be weak but Goku was an expert at finding them.

It was quiet. I wanted the verdict but I kind of wanted to keep living in ignorance. Goku didn’t seem like he was pro-choice so I’d be sixteen and saddled with a half-Saiyan baby.

“There’s nothing there but your own energy,” he said after a while. “I’ll check again in a week but Gohan and Goten both had them really early on. I could even feel Trunks in your mother when she was first pregnant.”

I sighed with relief. “Thank god.”

He looked up at me innocently, resting his chin on my stomach. “Why? Do you want one? If you do, I’ll make sure Gohan stays away so I can put one in you.”

“No, I’m pretty happy being childless. You don’t need to put anything in me. As a matter of fact, you should probably start using condoms or get me—wait, why am I telling you this? You shouldn’t be having sex with me in the first place. That’s how it should be.”

“I wonder if it’s even possible for two immortals to have babies.”

At first, I thought I didn’t hear him right.

“Two immortals?” I laughed. “You meant one.”

No reply.

Goku slowly moved away from me as it sank in. Two immortals. Not one, but two.

That was why I had seen him carrying the Dragon Balls around the night he brought Gohan home. That was why he asked how I was feeling. That was why he didn’t panic and worry about me getting frostbite when I tried to run away. It all made sense.

The key to my prison cell had been thrown away. I, Bulla Briefs, had been granted the ‘gift’ of immortality. There was no way for me to die. I could never put a bullet in my brain or hold a pillow over my face until my lungs stopped working. He had taken away my basic right to choose.

There was no escape.

“You didn’t,” I whispered.

He rubbed the back of his head, smiling weakly. “Gohan said you might do the same thing Chi-Chi did. You were depressed and you wouldn’t talk to me so I wanted to make sure I couldn’t lose you. I love you. I don’t want to bury you, too. I asked Shenron to grant you eternal youth so you won’t ever—”

“I… WHAT?! I’m stuck this way forever?! I was looking forward to growing up! I don’t want to be a sixteen year old for eternity! Oh god, I’m sixteen forever. And I’m stuck with you.”

“We thought you’d be happy. Now you don’t have to be afraid of getting old and dying.”

I stood up to pace around the room. Oh no. This changed everything. I thought Goku would lose interest in a year or two when my body changed more. He would’ve let me go. If I was sixteen forever he would never let me out of his sight. Not only that, but I couldn’t die. It was a wish granted by Shenron which meant it couldn’t be reversed. 

My family would die around me and I’d be alive for eternity with Goku constantly hovering behind me. God, he was so fucking selfish it made me sick. I had to keep pandering to him forever. My body couldn’t and wouldn’t change at all. Time was frozen inside and outside. That ruled out graduating and living a mildly normal life. It also meant I couldn’t get pregnant.

Goku was on his feet, apologizing. I stuffed a knuckle in my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes. Sure I didn’t want kids now but… having that option taken away from me felt like a punch to the gut. There was no risk for him or Gohan anymore. They could do whatever they wanted.

I ran out to the kitchen and tore open the utensil drawer, rummaging around for a knife. Goku hung back to watch as I ripped the whole thing out and swore when I realized he’d gotten rid of them. I needed to test my limits. I needed to know what not dying felt like. Was it still painful?

“Get the Dragon Balls and tell him to fix it,” I said. “Shenron can do anything.”

“Bulla, you know he can’t undo a wish. It isn’t that bad.”

Things had gone from bad to abysmal. I could’ve been set free in a few years. Another girl would’ve come along to distract him long enough for me to slip away. Now I was stuck. Forever.

The doorbell rang as I sank to the floor, clutching my head. Eternity in hell. Goku glanced between the door and I before he decided to see who was coming to visit instead of tending to me. I wasn’t going anywhere. There wasn’t as much of a risk in leaving me by myself. 

What would happen if I was decapitated? Would my head spontaneously reattach or would I be like the Headless Horseman? I thought of toting around my skull in a purse and started laughing. Another wish to Shenron would fix that problem. The Eternal Dragon was more than happy to help Goku.

Someone stepped into the kitchen. It wasn’t Goku or Gohan. I could tell by how they walked. I kept my face hidden in my hands, struggling to hold back tears. They hesitated for a moment and finally walked forward to take my wrists and gently pull my hands away from my eyes.

Seeing blue irises staring at me was too good to be true. I took in his entire face, including the trademark purple hair and thick black glasses. Was I hallucinating?

“Bulla,” Trunks said. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Goku was standing in the entranceway with is arms crossed with a particularly pissed off expression. Behind him stood Goten with his hands on his hips. He was glaring at his father intently—he grabbed his sleeve and tugged but Goku didn’t want to go anywhere. He didn’t even trust my brother with me.

Trunks sat down in front of me and started to talk. I stared at him blankly and flung my arms around his neck, crying once again. I was always running the waterworks. My brother seemed surprised by my outburst but hugged me back tightly without saying anything. He understood me.

There was a growl from across the room but I didn’t care. Trunks had come to see me. There was a silver lining in my stormy cloud. He sighed into my shoulder; it was his reflex when he was trying not to cry. For the first time in a while, I was being touched and it didn’t make my skin crawl. I could breathe.

As I relaxed against my brother, Gohan’s words echoed in my mind. All of us would do the same thing if we could. We’re animals. Fear trickled into my heart and my body tensed, ready to run. What if it was another trick? I was starting to have serious trust issues with men. They could all be tossing me around. What if he and Goten were here to... 

I shoved Trunks back and flattened myself against the cupboards, eyes wide with terror. His arms were still outstretched. He blinked in surprise and moved toward me without thinking. I shrieked, spinning around so fast to escape that my hands slipped on the floor. He grabbed my ankle until I kicked at his hands to free myself. When I sequestered myself in a corner, my eyes flickered between all three of them. I was trembling.

My brother swallowed hard, making his Adam’s apple bob. “Bulla, it’s me. We all missed you at the baby shower and I didn’t get to say goodbye before you left. I wanted to see you one more time.”

“Get away from me,” I stammered. 

“I know you’ve had a hard day. Gohan told all of us that you’re immortal now.” He sat down again, smiling at me. “That’s exciting. You’ll never get old or die.”

“Why are you here?” I looked to Goku for support, hugging my knees to my chest. “Are they here for me, too? I thought you didn’t want to share me with anyone. Please don’t let it be Trunks. It still hurts and I’m still tired. I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”

Goten forcefully jerked Goku back when he took a step toward me. His face turned murderous when Trunks moved closed to gently touch my kneecap. I recoiled violently, slamming myself into the cupboards, and my brother sat back down on the floor to hide his face in his hands. He turned away from me and Goten quickly came forward to kneel down a few feet away.

“Who else has been here?” he asked. There was no confusion in his eyes. He was the only normal one.

I looked at my brother. He was still obscuring my face. Was he crying?

From over Goten’s shoulder, I could see Goku shaking his head. No. I shouldn’t tell them about my friends visiting and my encounters with Gohan. Goten noticed me locking eyes with his father and grabbed my chin so I was forced to look at him instead. Telling the truth was normally a good thing.

“I know someone was here,” Goten said. “Who was it? Someone we know?”

“She hasn’t been sleeping well or eating very much,” Goku said quickly. “She hallucinates a lot, too. I’d take everything she says with a grain of salt.”

It was partially true. I was probably going crazy.

“Was it someone we know?” Goten repeated, trying to keep me focused on him.

“She doesn’t even remember what we ate for breakfast this morning—”

“She’ll have an easier time thinking if you stop interrupting.” Goten turned to look at his father in disgust. “This is getting out of hand. Vegeta can hardly sit still. He’s dying to come over here and fight you. I think if all four of us team up we could at the very least make you let her go.”

Goku knelt down and smiled at me. “But Bulla doesn’t want to leave. She likes it here. Besides, she’s almost an adult.”

“She’ll never be an adult now,” Goten hissed. 

I stared at Goku as he laughed, running a hand through his thick hair. Sometimes I wondered if there were two sides to him. He seemed innocent and downright stupid most days but when he was cornered or angry or horny, an eerie creature emerged from his heart. Maybe it was the Saiyan in him.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Goku leaned forward and I crushed my spine into the cupboards. “Bulla becomes a woman every night she’s with me.”

There was a click and the sound of scraping metal.

Trunks attacked Goku with the sword I hadn’t seen in ages, slicing the chair he was near clean in half. Goten put out his arms protectively as his father easily blocked the blade with his fingertips and grinned at my brother. When I saw Goku put his other fingers to his forehead I scrambled over Goten’s arm. He’d bring Trunks to another planet and kill him. I knew he would.

But I didn’t have time to intervene. Trunks knocked Goku’s hand away from his forehead and immediately followed up with a punch that was blocked. Goku squeezed until my brother howled in pain and fell on his knees, cursing a mile a minute. He tried to punch Goku in the stomach but the Saiyan smacked his hand away and hit him hard in the neck. 

I watched in horror as my brother collapsed on the ground. He lay very still. It had been a long time since any of them trained but the Goku’s strength was beyond incalculable now. He kicked the sword across the room and turned to Goten as he craned his neck until it cracked.

“Bring Trunks home to Bulma,” Goku said. “No more visits.”

The youngest member of the Son family rushed over to his fallen friend and Goku happily picked me up like a lost doll. Goten shook Trunks a few times and checked his pulse, hefting him onto his shoulders a moment later. He glared at his father, who was too busy fixing my hair to notice.

“Vegeta’s going crazy. Don’t be surprised if he shows up here next.”

“I’m not worried about him,” Goku said idly, admiring my hands. “I’ve hidden the Dragon Balls and Bulla is immortal now, just like me. I can instantly find her no matter where she goes. This would be much easier on everyone if you all just accepted us. I’m sure Bulla wants to see her parents again but I can’t let her do that until I’m positive she knows who cares more about her.”

My eyes closed. Goku was so warm, like a muscle-bound fireplace.

Goten started to say something a few times but no words came out. I heard him kick part of the ruined chair and the door opened and shut. Once again, I was alone.

There was a sigh and Goku kissed the side of my head. “Look at them, attacking us in our home. Are those the kinds of people you want to live with? I thought I raised Goten better than that. Sheesh, guess he’s upset about Valese being pregnant. I’m glad you listened to me.”

We started going upstairs and I was drifting off in his arms again. He had a slow, gentle heartbeat. It was soothing, like listening to the rain on the windows. I yawned.

“Goku, do you love me?”

It came out of my mouth before I could stop it. Luckily, I was too exhausted to care about the ramifications. He stopped on a stair, suddenly very quiet. I snuggled closer to his chest. The shirt I was wearing smelled like him—pine trees and spring water. It had a scent of its own.

I giggled. “Who am I kidding? You made me immortal without telling me and beat up my brother. That doesn’t count all the other crap you’ve done. I think you wish you could, but you never will.”

Silence. He fingered the hem of my shirt in his hands, thinking. Of course he couldn’t that while he walked. I was about to fall asleep and take my strange feeling of rejection with me when he started walking again. He carefully set me down in bed and helped me under the covers. I was too tired to feel angry. I nestled into the pillow while Goku played with my hair again.

“Chi-Chi asked me that all the time,” he said. “I love you, Bulla. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t.”

As usual, it was a simple response to a question that required so much more. Goku crawled into bed beside me and I curled against his chest. Another long day. 

Unfortunately for me, the long days would never end.


	6. Struggling

For the first time, I was thankful that Orange Star High was absolutely gigantic. It made it much easier for me to hide in the shadows and glide along the walls during school. No one saw me like they had my first day back. I clutched my books to my chest as I snuck around and sequestered myself in the back corners of my classes. The teachers were afraid to ask me questions. What if I was still unstable?

Lunch time came soon enough and I hid in the library, keeping my head low while I tackled my first pile of math homework. I’d gone the entire day without being confronted by anyone. Goku would pick me up in a few hours and I could go home to keep working while he watched TV. He’d try to help but we both knew a kindergartener had a better grasp of what I was learning.

As I scribbled out equations there was a heavy thud on the table. I glanced up and coughed lightly as Pan sat down across from me. She was wearing her stupid bandanna again. Why couldn’t she just leave me alone and act like nothing was happening? I was resigned to my fate with Goku.

Pan forcefully shut my book and dropped something sparkly on top, folding her arms as I stared at it. It was a simple silver necklace with an infinity loop on the end. While I tried to figure out why she was showing it to me she leaned closer and looked around furtively. If Pan had a crush on me now I was probably gonna decapitate myself.

“I took it from my parents’ room,” she said. “Mom hates jewelry so I think we both know who it was for.”

I felt sick to my stomach. More misleading presents. This was probably an apology for the other night.

“Pan, I’m not… I don’t like him. I kind of hate him. Well, I really hate him.”

“I know.” She clasped her hands together, scowling at the tabletop. “I do, too. He wants you to come over to the house today but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Mom’s spending all her time with Valese and I bet he’ll find a way to get rid of me. Isn’t grandpa mad?”

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “No. This sounds crazy, but I think Goku is trying to get your dad into… you know… the new family hobby. There’s only so much I can do. My brother came down with Goten last night and Goku knocked Trunks out cold in two minutes flat.”

She nodded as a teacher strolled by, placing a finger to her lips so we’d be quieter. It was a good idea. I didn’t want the school finding out and launching an investigation. Goku would be even angrier and now that I was immortal, he didn’t have to worry about snapping my neck.

My sole friend pulled her chair next to mine. She was glaring at the necklace. “I don’t know what’s wrong with grandpa. I wish I did. My mother is so excited about being pregnant that I can’t bring myself to tell her about dad. She deserves to be happy. Besides, I don’t know how he’ll react. He argued with me for an hour about how it’s natural for Saiyan males, blah blah blah.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “If I hadn’t been so stupid none of this would’ve happened.”

Pan laughed quietly. “You’re not supposed to be cautious around people you care about. We all grew up together as one big family. Grandpa was nice to you and one thing led to another.”

We sat in silence for a while and she eventually pocketed the necklace. I didn’t want to see it again. It was a bad sign. If Gohan got it for me, that meant he intended on seeing me again sometimes soon. I tried to lose myself in my homework but it was hard to ignore the suffocating terror. My writing hand started trembling and I packed up my things to wait for lunch to be over.

I parted ways with Pan in the hall. She promised to talk to me more when she knocked some sense into her father. My time with Goku had taught me another thing about Saiyans: they hated being told no.

The rest of the day passed by quickly and before I knew it, I was heading out the front doors to be picked up by Goku. As I reached out to grab a door handle, someone took my arm and dragged me away to the side of the crowd. I stumbled a bit and started to protest until I saw another familiar face. Well, two more familiar faces.

Marron was standing beside a very irate Shoppa. I waved stupidly and prayed Goku wouldn’t catch them pulling me aside. He made it very clear that he just wanted me going to school to learn from now on. The only person I could befriend was Pan and even that was limited.

Creepy. I hated being told what to do.

“Bulla, what’s going on?” Shoppa asked. “I’m seriously freaking out. Marron said she isn’t allowed to go to your house anymore. Since when do you live there? What happened to Capsule Corp.?”

“It’s private. Daddy said Mr. Son doesn’t like when people show up uninvited. Honestly, Shoppa, it’s like you don’t even listen most of the time.”

Shoppa rounded on Marron, squeezing my arm too tight. “That dude was going to attack us! He dragged Bulla in the basement and Pan was panicking! This isn’t something that’ll just go away on its own. If neither of you will give me answers, I’m calling the police. Something doesn’t feel right.”

“Look at how many people care about my Bulla.”

Two big hands settled heavily on my shoulders and rubbed. I could feel the blood draining from my face—I must have turned pale in a fraction of a second. Shoppa dropped my arm and adjusted her purse, glaring at my unseen tormentor. He was gonna be mad when we got home. Fantastic.

Marron smiled weakly and patted my forearm. “Sorry, Mr. Son, but I gotta go. Daddy doesn’t want me talking to you.”

You’re making it worse.

Goku’s grip tightened at the mention of his childhood friend. Now he was gonna be really mad when we got home. Marron uncomfortably walked away, leaving me standing between Shoppa and Goku. It wasn’t exactly a nice place to be. Shoppa desperately looked to me for answers.

“I… um…” Shit, what was I supposed to say? Think fast.

“Are you two like, together?” Shoppa asked. “I thought this dude was Pan’s grandpa. Why didn’t you tell me about this? Did your mom find out and kick you out of the house? You can live with me. Isn’t what you’re doing technically… illegal?”

“She has her parents’ consent,” Goku said, sounding a bit too amused. “It’s time for us to go home, Bulla. You have a lot of homework to do.”

Shoppa suddenly grabbed my arm as I turned away and Goku’s chest rumbled with a growl. She tucked her hair behind her ear and held my arms, looking at me intently. Oh, Shoppa. Why couldn’t you stop caring like everyone else? You were just making it harder.

“You don’t look happy. You can’t even look me in the eye. Are you sure you’re okay with this? Should I tell a teacher?”

Now Goku was agitated. He separated me from Shoppa and pulled me outside the door so he could use instant transmission to teleport us away from the school. It wasn’t that he had anything to fear from human authorities but it would just make things even more complicated if she kept sniffing around.

It was sort of cold back at the house. I put my books on the kitchen table and Goku pushed me into a chair, promptly pulling a seat beside mine and sitting down. He leaned an elbow on the table and smiled at me until I looked away at my hands. There were a ton of lines in my palms. I should’ve had them read.

“Bulla,” he said after a while, “you and I have a special relationship. It isn’t the kind of one you can talk to your friends about. It’s very important to me that you tell them you’re happy if they ask. I’m nice to you, right? I take good care of you.”

I shrank under his steely gaze. “I didn’t say anything to her. She was just asking because of how you freaked out the other night when they were all over. She’s being a good friend.”

“No, she’s worrying about things she doesn’t understand. It’s no one’s business but our own. If she can learn to accept it then I’ll allow her to come visit you after school. Until then, I only want you to learn and focus on your studies. I promised your parents you’d graduate.”

Oh thank god he did that. Graduating high school was at the top of my priority list if I would be living for all eternity. It was very important that I got an education so I could sit at home with Goku and watch TV quietly while he played with my hair. I’d need to know trigonometry to calculate how fucking awful I felt every morning when I woke up and felt blood on my thighs. I’d need history to teach me how people in the past had it way worse than I did. I’d need English so I could write down the ways I dreamt of killing myself and taking Goku along with me.

He smiled and grasped the back of my neck, kissing my forehead for a few seconds longer than I wanted. I opened up my trig book and he ruffled my hair on his way out to the living room. Yes, it was very important for me to learn these things. Goku couldn’t have an uneducated captive. The horror! Everyone would gossip and he’d be so embarrassed.

The equations danced in my head, taunting me to the brink of rage. I heard the cartoons Goku was watching and was tempted to sneak out to sit on the couch with him. If he protested, I could tell him I was lonely and give him the puppy dog eyes. Usually he fell for that or a few tears. Of course, I knew what he wanted more than anything. But he never asked for it. He didn’t think he had to.

Goku was even shirking his training to keep an eye on me. The cold didn’t bother him: he was constantly hovering around 108 degrees. His paranoia worsened after Trunks visited. He was seriously concerned someone would try to take me away. I looked down at my horrific math scribbling and wondered if I would even brother trying to escape. Was it worth it?

No, probably not. I couldn’t die so he could literally torture me forever. The evil in him would come out and take over like it always did. It was hard deciding whether or not I should hate him. He was so simple and innocent most days, until he was angry or upset. A whole new person would emerge; one I was seriously afraid of.

I glanced at Goku and felt my anger ebbing away as it always did. He’d do something that pissed me off and I’d forget about it within a day. He had his head leaned back on the couch and was gazing up at the ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed. The cartoon prattled on, further distracting me. 

Maybe he was right. If I just did what he said, we’d both be happier at the end of the day. It’d take a while for me to break free of the moral restraints and it might be kind of weird and it wasn’t what I had pictured when I imagined being with a guy, but… I was stuck. Eternity was a long time to be miserable.

It would be even longer if I spent every day lying to myself.

_Like you have a choice_ , scoffed the voice in my head. _It’s gonna take a long time for this guy to move on to another girl so you better get ready for the long haul. He’s too crazy to change his mind._

I sighed and pretended to write down a few more things. Goku always checked my homework but I knew he had no idea what he was looking at. I slammed the book shut, making him quickly look up, and strolled over to sit beside him on the couch. He seemed surprised when I leaned on his arm and hurried to accommodate me. If I played the game how he wanted…

No. That was wrong. Manipulating him would make everything worse. He wasn’t dumb enough to fall for that. But it was tempting. If I could twist the truth a little I might be allowed to have friends over. I could convince him not to allow Gohan to touch me. Eventually, I might cure him.

Besides, he had started the whole thing. He lied and tricked me on a daily basis. He stole a part of me I would never get back and shared me like a rental car. He showered me with false praise and gifts that had fine print attached to them. It was time for him to understand what he was doing. It was time—

A tiny droplet of water on my cheek drew me out of my planning. I curiously touched my skin and a few more fell on my fingertips as I eyed them in disbelief. There had to be a leak in the ceiling. Before I could look at Goku’s face, he pulled me into his lap and enveloped me in his arms. His fingertips dug into my back and he held me closer. More moisture dripped down my neck.

“I need you,” he whispered.

My heart nearly gave out.

Sometimes I imagined Goku as Atlas and it put everything in perspective. Shouldering the world must make you kind of wound up and crazy. It would make the days off seem so much more important. It would make you chase what you wanted no matter the cost. 

The cartoon carried on in the background as silent tears soaked into the back of my shirt. Yes, Goku. You’re not alone. I need you, too.


	7. Tricking

Inevitably, time passed.

The days turned to weeks that transitioned to a month. I became better acquainted with Goku and tried to convince myself I was happy living with him. We would talk more frequently about how we were going to spend our eternity wandering the Earth. Of course, the entire universe was our oyster. We had the ability to travel to any planet, no matter how far.

Goku was unwilling to share me with Gohan anymore and refused to let me hang out with Pan unless she was coming to our home. She was constantly on edge, paranoid that her father was going to snap again and hurt one of our friends from school or me. We didn’t talk about that, though. Both of us tried to avoid discussing my entanglement with her family as best as we could.

School became a thing of the past. I successfully convinced Goku that it was a waste of time and effort, but it really only took a few words. He was happy to have me home. I was happy I didn’t have to feel out of place with the other teenagers swarming around me. They noticed something was off. Rumors were flying by the time my parents signed forms to formally withdraw me from OSH.

After that, mom and dad granted Goku legal guardianship of me. It was more of a formality that he wanted than anything else. Through the process, I didn’t see them once. I was terrified of how they both must have looked while a lawyer told them to sign me away on the dotted line. 

Things became less tense between us, but our friends and family were all reaching their breaking point.

“Look what I found, Bulla!”

I snapped out of my trance and set down my magazine on the coffee table as Goku shut the front door. He shook his head, sending flurries of snow everywhere, and took a seat beside me. Heat radiated even from beneath his shirt. He didn’t even need to wear long sleeves in the freezing cold.

He reached into his shirt, gently withdrawing a shivering baby bird from within. It was tiny and bright red; a species that should’ve flown south months ago. I “ooed” and “awwed” at the trembling creature and Goku brought it to his cheek so he could nuzzle it lovingly. The bird twittered pitifully. It wasn’t sure what to think of him. He could be a predator but he was treating it so well…

“It’s so little,” I said. “Where’d you find him?”

“In a tree. I felt his energy and figured I should check it out. I’m gonna make him a nice nest and he’ll live here forever with us. Maybe Shenron can make birds immortal.”

“Goku, that’s a grievous misuse of the Dragon Balls. We can keep him until the snow lets up but come spring, he needs to be free.”

Goku frowned. “I wanna keep him. Look, he likes me!”

It was just the opposite. The bird fluttered out of Goku’s hand and landed with a plop on my thigh. He warily hopped forward until he could burrow under the folds of my sweater, tweeting contently when he settled down. Goku moved to pick him up again and I smacked his hand away.

“No,” I said. “He’ll never like you if you’re all over him like that. Give him space to breathe.”

The Saiyan poked the bird-sized lump in my sweater. “I’ll give him anything he wants. Then he’ll stay. And if he doesn’t want to, I’m bigger, so I’ll make him. I want him.”

A knock on the door made Goku hesitantly abandon the baby bird. I had to make a mental note to hide the poor thing from his childlike curiosity. He’d accidentally hurt it and be even more upset. It peeked its head out and looked up at me, opening its beak for food. What did baby birds eat? Seeds?

Talking and footsteps preceded the group that came into the living room. The bird quickly ducked its head back under my sweater and I wished I had somewhere to hide.   
Goku was standing with my brother, Goten, and unfortunately, Gohan. They were all dressed in training uniforms, something I hadn’t seen in a really long time. Trunks smiled weakly at me. All I could do was stare. Why were all of them suddenly invited into the house? My nightmare had to be coming true. Gohan told them about what he’d been doing and they couldn’t resist.

I immediately looked to Goku and he smiled smugly. Goten had his arms folded and refused to look away from the floor. Gohan had his hands folded behind his back and I noticed him exchanged a loaded glance with Trunks. They were planning something. This wasn’t a house visit.

“Bulla, you’ve been very good for the past few weeks,” Goku said. “Do you think I can leave you here alone for a few nights? Our friends want to go train with me on King Kai’s planet. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to spar and I’m aching to dish out a few bruises.”

When he clapped Gohan on the back, the oldest Son grimaced and coughed.

Me? Alone in the house for a couple of nights? I blinked in surprise and tried to figure out if it was a trick. Goku never left my side. He was always reading my energy, hanging around in the background at least. Then again, I’d been pretty well behaved so he could’ve begun to think I was settled into our lifestyle. All the major male threats would be under his watchful eye.

Goku pouted his lower lip and sat next to me on the couch when I failed to respond. My mouth was dry. He gently placed a hand over the sleeping bird, which was just above my pelvis, and kissed the side of my head. I stared at him. What the hell was the right reply? If I drilled into his eyes, it was hidden somewhere in the murky depths.

“You can take care of our birdy,” he said.

Trunks blew up.

“You got my little sister pregnant?!” he screamed, taking a step forward. 

Goten reined him in quickly and Gohan rubbed his forehead. He looked paler than usual. I looked down at Goku’s hand and realized the situation must have made it seem that way. He sighed as he rose from the couch, bearing down on Goten restraining my outraged brother.

“They’re immortal, Trunks,” Gohan said tiredly. “Bulla’s body can’t change so she can’t be pregnant. I think a little context would help us out, dad.”

“Dad?” Goten hissed, rounding on his brother. “Don’t call him that. This isn’t our father.”

Goku folded his arms, delightedly watching them bicker for a few minutes. It was exactly what he wanted. Together we stand, divided we fall. They’d all eventually come back to him for support when they knew they couldn’t depend on anyone else. They’d grow to accept what he had done. Once again, Goku would emerge as the hero.

“I’ll be back in a few days, Bulla,” he said, “so you stay here and be good.”

When they all left, Gohan lingered behind for a few moments, eyeing me intently. I shrank back until Trunks reappeared and dragged him away by his arm. The front door opened and shut. 

Silence ensued.

I sat ramrod straight on the couch until nightfall. It seemed too good to be true—Goku would never trust me being at the house alone. But the hours ticked by and he didn’t come back. The baby bird woke and began begging for food so I was forced to abandon my post to find it something in the kitchen. 

Me? Alone for a few days?

It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that Goku wouldn’t be sleeping next to me at night. Honestly, it was kind of scary. He could protect me from literally anything. I was immortal now but I still had very mortal fears. I took a big wooden bowl from the cupboard and set some towels in it for the bird. He nestled in and opened his beak to me impatiently.

Thankfully, Goku kept a stock of seeds, nuts, and berries in the pantry. He loved gathering that kind of stuff in the early morning while I was asleep. I picked out a handful of seeds and dropped a few in the bird’s mouth, which he seemed to like. After a couple sprinkles he contently closed his beak and snuggled into the towels for a nap. I tore up some paper towels to make it feel like more of a nest.

I turned to face the empty house. Might as well go to bed and hope the days would pass quickly.

A warm shower didn’t make me feel much better. I climbed into bed alone and closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of Goku. It was relaxing. I hugged his pillow and tried to imagine it was him but it wasn’t the same without his arms around my waist. How pitiful. I couldn’t even sleep alone anymore.

It felt like the darkness was crushing me…

“Bulla. It’s time for you to come home.”

My eyes snapped open and I flew up in bed, clutching the pillow to my chest. Across the room there was a figure standing in the doorway with their arms crossed. They stepped forward to enter the bright moonlight and I felt a myriad of emotions all at once.

Dad looked worse for wear. He had bags under his eyes I had never seen and he was wearing his training uniform again. He smiled wryly at me and stood in place while I tried to figure out what was happening. Was I being reverse kidnapped? It didn’t count as kidnapping because he was my father, though.

For some reason, I really didn’t want to leave. 

“Daddy?” I whispered. “Daddy, what are you doing here?”

My father showed no emotion. “I’ve come to collect you. Hurry up, we haven’t got all day. If you panic Kakarot will sense the change in your energy and come running.”

“But… he’ll know you took me. He’ll come after you.”

“Kakarot isn’t going to cause anyone pain any longer. We’ve brought him to Dende for some… intensive healing.” A twisted grin spread across dad’s face. “Now hurry. He can’t be restrained forever.”

Alarms were going off in my head. What if they were hurting Goku? I couldn’t stand for that. He’d been so nice to me and even let me stay by myself in the house. I shook my head and pressed myself flat against the headboards, making my father scowl.

“No. I can’t leave. This is where I live now.”

“Unfortunately for you, I can’t continue living while you’re trapped here. When you’re back home your thoughts will clear up and you’ll understand.”

“He’s gonna find out and—”

“I will not leave you here to be defiled any longer,” my father snapped. “Come, Bulla, before I make you.”

When I staunchly refused, he was across the room in an instant. Dad knew he had to be quick so my energy didn’t spike. There was a sharp pain at the back of my neck and the world spun into a point of darkness. I heard the bird twitter downstairs as I collapsed face-forward on the bed.


	8. Stockholm Syndrome

“Vegeta, you’re insane. This has been in the works since Bulla was a baby. You can’t just storm into Goku’s house and take her like that. He’s going to throw a fit when he comes home and she isn’t there. She was just starting to get comfortable living there and as usual, you had to screw it all up!”

“Shut up, woman. I will die before any daughter of mine is held captive by a bumbling buffoon like Kakarot. The others have taken him to Kami’s Lookout where he’ll learn some manners. I for one am sick of sitting around waiting for him to change his mind. It won’t happen.”

It was warm. I couldn’t smell Goku anymore. 

The world spun as I slowly sat up in bed, clutching my throbbing head. The frame creaked and my parents immediately stopped talking. I groaned as nausea climbed up my throat—why did dad always have to solve problems with violence? Why did he have to try to fix things that weren’t broken?

It was strange being home. Everything was how I left it when Goku took me away. Mom hadn’t moved anything a single inch. I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked around the familiar room and began feeling the stirrings of homesickness. My stuffed animal collection was still hanging in the net grandpa bought me for Christmas when I was little. My perfume was all out on display with my makeup.

Had it been that long? It felt like an eternity since I had been sitting at my vanity brushing eye shadow on while Shoppa complained on speakerphone about her parents. I’d watch movies and occasionally do my homework until dad came storming in to set me straight. I was a procrastinator.

My door slowly opened and mom peeked her head in curiously, soon rushing in to hug me tightly as dad nudged inside. He hung back as usual. I choked from mom’s embrace and she let me go a minute later, quickly smoothing out my bed sheets so she could sit down by my feet. 

She smiled. Her eyes were sparkling with tears. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

I opened my palms and stared at them. My hands were trembling but I couldn’t feel anything, really. If I dug deep, I could faintly detect happiness. How long had it been since I’d been happy? I was so used to waking up and wanting to die that I’d numbed myself to a lot of emotions. It didn’t help that I was constantly on edge, paranoid about what Goku and his sons were planning.

“I’ll bet she feels fantastic, Bulma,” dad snapped. His eyes were hard and cold. He was putting on an act. Another typical behavior. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. She’s safe here. Dende must have hastened things along with Kakarot so we’ll have nothing more to fear from him.”

“Goku is immortal. What do you think you can do to him?”

“None of your business. All of this emotional nonsense is making me sick. Have at it. I’m going to have lunch while you two pull yourselves together.”

When dad left the room, mom looked like she wanted to yell back at him. She sighed and turned to me again with an oddly happy expression on her face. I wasn’t sure of what to say. There was nothing I wanted to tell them that they didn’t already know. Gohan had probably clued them in on a lot of it along with Trunks when Goku knocked him unconscious. 

Mom patted my thigh. “I’m going to help your father make lunch. You know he can’t do it by himself. I’m sure you’re confused right now so I’ll leave you be until you’re ready to talk.”

She kissed my forehead and got up to leave. As she headed out the door I couldn’t resist asking the question burning in my mind.

“Mom,” I said, breaking my silence, “what are they doing to Goku?”

It was obvious that she heard me. She paused at the door and I saw her spine stiffen. But she hung her head and left, shutting it softly behind her. I stared after her for a few minutes without moving. Was it that bad? Goku was so powerful. How could three of them stand a chance?

I wasn’t sure why I cared about him so much. My hand moved to the necklace still dangling from my throat and I was somewhat calmed by stroking it. Sleeping alone would be weird. Spending an entire day without Goku would be even weirder. I’d become so accustomed to seeing him every day that I didn’t know what to do with myself when he wasn’t around. Pathetic.

As I turned on the TV and vacantly watched cartoons, I realized that I could never come home.

Goku owned me. He had me; hook, line, and sinker. My father risked everything to bring me back and nothing had changed in my heart. I was worried because I wanted to make sure Goku would take me again. Mom was right. I was just getting used to living there and it was all torn away.

I peered out of my curtains and was disappointed to see sunlight. That meant he’d been with them for an entire night so far and hadn’t broken free. Maybe he was letting them feel like they had the upper hand. He’d be feeling for my energy soon enough and put the pieces together. He’d take me.

My parents resumed bickering downstairs. Everything certainly sounded normal. I flipped through channels and found myself wishing I had a cell phone. Not that anyone would want to talk to me. Shoppa thought I was a freak. Pan was too busy trying to keep her father away. Marron wasn’t even allowed to talk to me and that most likely involved texting.  
Yes, my triumphant return back home was bittersweet to the point where I seriously doubted whether or not there was even a trace of sweetness. Everything was still hanging by a thread. We all needed confirmation that Goku would never try to do anything stupid again.

But now we all knew he had the capacity for evil. There was no going back.

The doorbell rang. I thought nothing of it and continued blankly watching TV, waiting for the days to pass until Goku came to bring me home. What was that called again? I remembered hearing the name for people who grew to care about their kidnappers. It was some kind of syndrome. The first part had to be a city or something.  
Feet on the stairs roused my attention. I figured it was dad coming up to demand answers out of me. I’d never tell anyone about what happened. It hurt to think about it. If I pretended I had been agreeing all along; that I had run away with Goku, I could cope. That was the only way.

My door opened and I froze like a cornered animal.

Gohan stood between my parents, dressed in torn clothes and bleeding from a few places. He wiped a trail of blood from his mouth and popped a senzu bean between his lips without looking away from me. Mom was rubbing his back. Dad’s arms actually weren’t crossed. My heart was pounding.

“Good news, Bulla,” mom said. “Gohan offered to bring you back to Goku’s so you can get the rest of your things! They have everything under control at the Lookout. It’s safe for you to be outside.”

I stared at Gohan. “I want dad to come.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I have to go pay Kakarot a visit now that he’s settled in.” Dad punched a fist into his palm, grinning malevolently. “Besides, Gohan’s brat wants to see you.”

“I’m tired, can’t I just get my stuff tomorrow with you, daddy?”

Neither of my parents were having it. They’d just rescued me and were already throwing me out again, with yet another member of the Son family. Mom thanked Gohan as I climbed out of bed unsteadily and took my time putting on clothes. He had much more important things to deal with. Goku wouldn’t go down easy and I had my doubts that he’d stay down for long if he did.

We left the house after Gohan promised to keep me safe. I wanted to laugh. It was all a lie.

After we had flown a ways, I decided to try my luck and change direction to Kami’s Lookout. I needed to know how Goku was doing. I needed to make sure he was okay. As I banked up and broke through the first barrier of clouds, Gohan suddenly appeared in front of me and I was forced to stop. I panted for a few moments to catch my breath from the burst of speed and screamed at him.

My fellow halfling shook his head. “Come on, Bulla. You don’t need to see him. Pretend he doesn’t exist so you can focus on getting better.”

“You’re part of the reason I’m so fucked up! Get out of my way before I fly home and spill the beans about what you’ve been doing with your father.”

Gohan quickly grabbed me and covered my mouth. He resumed flying towards my second home before he spoke. “He kept you from me for too long. I knew it was time to act when he became your guardian. He was intending on leaving Earth and abandoning me here with all this… want. Well he can sit and suffer on the Lookout and try to ignore your energy mingling with mine.”

It was premeditated. Gohan only participated in beating up his own father because he wanted unrestricted access to me. Why? There were a lot of other girls in the world he could choose from. Maybe it was because I was so easily available. Gohan knew my parents very well. He didn’t need to try hard to get me alone. I was a sitting duck.

We arrived at the eerily silent house. My shrieking fell on the deaf ears of trees as Gohan dragged me inside and tossed me on the floor. I clenched my hands into fists as the door shut and got back to my feet, staggering a little as wooziness passed over me. Come on, Goku. I needed a miracle.

Gohan backed me into a wall, slamming a hand next to my head to act as a barrier. He looked down at my necklace and scowled before abruptly tearing it off. It fell to the floor with a light clink. I grimaced and twisted my face away when he tried to kiss me on the lips so he moved on to biting my neck. This was the part where Goku stepped in and saved me. He was always there.

But my salvation came in a form I was absolutely dreading.

The door banged open and Gohan spun around to stand in front of me protectively, growling audibly. Even through the dense darkness settling over the mountain I could see Pan’s bandana outlined by the moonlight. It was the person behind her that made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

Videl was supporting a prominent baby bump that didn’t make her look any less terrifying. She stepped inside the house and her eyes glazed over with a level of fury I could never comprehend. Pan crossed her arms and the two glared at Gohan as his growling turned into pitiful whimpers.

I swallowed hard. My throat was dry from screaming. “Um… can someone help?”

There was no hesitation from Videl. She was fearless to the end. She walked toward Gohan with her hands set firmly on her back and easily shoved him out of the way to hug me. It was the last thing I was expecting. She held me at arm’s length with teary eyes and nodded.

“I’m not mad at you,” she whispered. “I wish you told me but… I could never blame you, Bulla. You run home while Pan and I get your things.”

“Videl, this isn’t what it looks like,” Gohan said as I squeaked past him. “She came onto me! It was dad. He kept asking me to do it and after I did—”

A hand across the face silenced his babbling and Videl took the floor. As she hurled insults at her husband, I quietly thanked Pan. She nodded tightly, watching her father getting the verbal assault of his life. I felt terrible. If only Goku hadn’t made me immortal. I’d torn apart a pregnant woman and her husband after nearly two decades of marriage. It was impossible to live with.

“WE’RE BRING ANOTHER BABY INTO THE WORLD AND YOU’RE TORTURING A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WITH YOUR FATHER. IS THIS FUN TO YOU, GOHAN? WHAT IF SOMEONE WAS DOING THIS TO PAN?! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND…”

The front door shut and I couldn’t hear any more. Not that I wanted to.

I turned my gaze to the heavens. It was time to find Goku. It was time for us to go home.


	9. Catastrophe

Kami’s Lookout was a far flight. I struggled to remember exactly where it was and was stuck fumbling around until darkness fell. When I finally saw the gigantic structure I flew towards it quickly, praying I wasn’t too late. Goten and Trunks were still there and my father may have joined them. Dad was always looking for an excuse to pummel Goku and now he had a good one.

As I approached the huge structure, someone suddenly flew directly in my path. Again.

Dad had his arms crossed and looked beyond pissed off. He blocked me when I tried flying around him and I cursed my bad luck. I was so close. I could’ve seen Goku. Was he okay?

“Where do you think you’re going?” dad demanded. “You’re supposed to be at Kakarot’s collecting your things. Where is Gohan?”

“Why don’t you fly there and ask Videl? I don’t have time for this. Get out of the way, dad.”

“Don’t talk to me that way after I saved your life. You don’t need to go to the Lookout. Go home before I get angry, Bulla. I’ll go deal with Gohan and see what ridiculous nonsense he’s gotten himself into.”

My frustration took over. Energy shot through my arm like a bullet and I quickly raised my palm to fire a small ki blast at dad that skimmed his shoulder. He watched it fade into the darkness in disbelief before turning back to me with murderous fury all over his face. It had been a long time since I played with energy. I’d learned how to fire ki blasts when I was young but I forgot over the years.

Dad clenched his jaw. “Go. Home.”

I shook my head furiously and fired another ball of energy at him that he easily dodged. He put out his palm and a buffet of raw ki sent me spiraling backwards through the sky, plunging through the layer of clouds I’d just passed. I saw a golden light on the other side of the loud barrier and swore as my father sent a ki blast flying through the sky towards me. I narrowly avoided it.

Another wave of energy shoved me closer to the earth. Dad wasn’t looking to hurt me but he wanted me to know he meant business. I put the bottoms of my palms together and focused my energy through the point to send a bundled beam toward him. He slapped it away like a fly and advanced, pushing me back again with glowing blue ki. I screamed angrily. There was nothing I could do.

We fought for a while. I tried to keep myself in the air because I stood no chance on the ground—it was much easier to dodge when I was spinning through the sky than run back and forth. Neither of us was aiming to kill but there were a few close calls on my end. Dad was mostly reflecting my attacks back at me. He was waiting for my energy reserves to run out so I’d go home.

Unfortunately, that happened sooner than later.

Energy had to be exercised. It was bottomless if you knew how to use it correctly and trained on drawing from your reserves every day. I’d been too busy with school and my social life to worry about sparring with dad every afternoon. I sank out of the sky and stumbled as I landed on the ground, panting hard. Dad hadn’t even broken a sweat. His face looked grim when he landed a few feet away.

It wasn’t fair. If I was happy now, what did it matter? No one needed to punish Goku. He had convinced me that everything was okay and we were settling in to living together. If they had rescued me sooner I might have been more willing to go home and return to normal. Now, I never could.

My father cracked his neck. “Now go home before I bring your brother here.”

“You don’t even have custody of me anymore. You gave me to Goku.”

“No silly piece of paper will keep me from my daughter.” Dad took a menacing step forward. “Go home, Bulla. Now. This is for your own good. You’ll be back to normal within—”

Two objects came flying out of the sky and crash landed between dad and me, digging huge craters in the earth. I fell backwards from the shockwave and dad quickly powered up, glowing gold in the darkness as the new enemy approached. I stared at the two projectiles lying in the dirt. One had black hair and the others was… purple?

“Trunks?!” I shrieked. “Goten?! Are you okay?!”

Before I could get up to check on my brother and his friend, a flash of yellow zoomed out of the clouds and my father was knocked off his feet a moment later. The earth shook as dad wiped blood from the corner of his mouth and I watched in awe as Goku descended from the sky, covered in red fur with a familiar tail wrapped around his waist. 

It was his highest transformation. He was here to kill.

Trunks groaned in pain and rolled over, smiling when he saw me. I crawled forward to him and was relieved to see he was still very much alive. Goten’s pulse was thrumming so I pulled him and Trunks out of the ditch. Both of them were bleeding quite a bit but I knew they’d been through worse.

“We’ll regroup and fight you again, Kakarot,” dad snarled. “I will not rest until Bulla is home. I will find the Dragon Balls and wish myself an eternity to take her away from you.”

Goku grinned and lashed out to grab my father around the throat, hoisting him into the air. “I didn’t want to do this for Bulla’s sake but I can’t have you sniffing around. You’re becoming a pest and someone needs to squash you.”

Goten came to. He pushed himself up and exchanged a glance with my brother before the two got to their feet. I watched both of them power up, exploding into golden light, and fly toward Goku faster than I could see. I screamed at them to stop. He was mad. He’d tear all of them apart.

“I told both of you to stay down!” Goku shouted, throwing Vegeta into the other two so they all fell in a heap. “I’m immortal. You can’t control me and you will never defeat me. My energy is infinite! Bulla and I were happy until you barged in and tried to ruin everything. I’m tired of your meddling.”

“Keep your hands off my sister, you twisted bastard,” Trunks rasped as he pushed Goten off him.

“Bulla’s a big girl now. She can make her own decisions.” Goku looked at me, smiling bright as the sun. It was somehow creepier under moonlight. “Isn’t that right, Bulla? I know you were worried about me being gone for so long but I’m here now. As soon as I’m done with these three we can go home.”

“Let’s go home right now,” I said. “No one has to get hurt anymore.”

“Be quiet!” dad hissed as he got up on all fours. He glared at Goku malevolently and staggered to his feet, soon followed by my brother. “When Gohan stops screwing around we’ll all beat him into the dirt again and he won’t have stand a chance. We have this under control, Bulla, so shut up.”

Goten was gasping for air. He wasn’t fairing as well as the others. My thoughts drifted to Valese, sitting at home waiting for him to return. They were going to have a baby. I couldn’t let him take a beating over something so stupid. He couldn’t get up and collapsed on his side in the dirt.

I took a few steps forward and dad shoved me back with a wave of energy. Goku was on him in an instant, crushing him into the ground like he weighed nothing. Trunks vanished and reappeared behind Goku to grab his tail, making him howl in pain and let my father go. He spun around to kick my brother square in the stomach and he flew into a tree. He slumped to the ground and didn’t move.

The two Saiyans met in a cataclysmic explosion of golden light that blinded me for several seconds. I covered my eyes and was buffeted back by the gusts of wind as dad viciously attacked Goku with all his strength. Goten was coughing up blood and his chest was heaving. He needed to go home to Valese.

“Goten,” I said, kneeling beside him, “please go home. Valese is probably worried sick.”

One of his eyes opened. “She knew what I was coming here to do and she knows I probably won’t come back. I’d rather die than put up with this any longer. It’s not just for you, Bulla. Dad can’t tell the difference between right and wrong anymore. Dende was picking through his head and… he said it’s all twisted up and shadowy. If he’s been corrupted, he can’t protect Earth. He might try to conquer it.”

“Please go home. If everyone leaves and doesn’t bother us, I know Goku will calm down. He just needs to go back home and—”

“Didn’t you hear me?!” Goten propped himself up on his elbow, scowling deeply. “This is way beyond you. He isn’t going to relax. He’s spiraling out of control and we all need to stop him. Problem is, no one can do that with the fucking Dragon Balls hidden away.”

It felt like a war zone. The sky was illuminated by ki blasts and the sound of collisions was starting to hurt my ears. But it didn’t have to be that way. If they all just left, I knew in my heart that Goku would calm down and go home with me. We could all keep living the way we were.

Trunks came crawling over to Goten and I once again and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw we were both alive and kind of well. He’d already torn off his shirt to wipe up his own profusely bleeding forehead and he offered it to his friend, who silently cleaned the gore off his face. We all sat together quietly and watched the lightshow in the clouds. Dad was persistent. He’d fight until the end.

Dad once again was the one to come hurtling through the clouds to the earth. He hit the ground hard and didn’t stop until he was a short distance from us. I quickly got to my feet and rushed toward him but there was a flash of red and I was forced to come to a stop. 

Goku was standing between us.

Wasn’t he always?

He put his hands on his hips disparagingly and wrapped his tail around his waist. “No, no, Bulla, Vegeta doesn’t get any extra help. He should’ve trained harder if he wanted to beat me.”

“You proved your point,” I said desperately. “Please let them go! Dad’s never gonna give up and you’ll wind up really hurting him! I know you’ll regret it. Please, Goku, stop this before it gets even more out of hand. Goten needs to go home and see Valese. Trunks needs to tell my mother everything’s okay.”

“Don’t… be… stupid,” dad groaned.

“I’m not being stupid! This is what’s best for everyone. We don’t need to fight over it anymore.” I turned to face my brother and Goten, trembling. “Look, I’m happy! I eat, go to school usually, exercise, and he’s nice to me now. I’m practically an adult. I can keep everything under control—”

“Dad, DON’T!” Goten screamed.

When I turned again, time stood still.

Goku was holding my father in the air by the throat, cocking an arm back with all his fingers pointed forward. Dad grimaced and slowly twisted his head to look at me. He reached an arm toward me, shivering violently from the pain. Our eyes met as Goku’s arm snapped like a coiled spring.

A tear slid down dad’s cheek.

I watched in slack-jawed horror as Goku’s hand pierced through dad’s chest, spraying blood and bits of flesh all over the green grass. His head promptly lolled to the side and his eyes glazed over. His arm fell.

Goku viciously tore his arm back through my father’s body and tossed him to the ground. He sucked the blood off his fingers and waited patiently for it to sink in. All three of us stared in shock at dad’s unmoving corpse bleeding out on the ground. No. It had to be a trick.

Trunks screamed and powered up, so full of rage that he could ignore his physical exhaustion. Goten stared at my father for a few seconds and started laughing, holding his sides from the force of his giggling. I fell to my knees and held back the tears in my eyes. Daddy wouldn’t want me to cry.

Their fight only lasted for a couple of minutes. My brother was knocked out and couldn’t even stand up again. Goku was irritated by Goten’s laughter and kicked him in the ribs so he was left hissing in pain like Trunks. I was still staring at my father’s body, hoping it was all a dream. No one could die. Not with the Dragon Balls around.

“Geez, these guys really never give up,” Goku said casually. “Oh well! Guess they learned their lesson by now so we can go home, Bulla. I hope you’ve been taking good care of our birdy.”

“You… you killed my father.” I could only whisper. It was a nightmare, after all.

“Hm? Oh, you mean Vegeta? He’ll be happier in Otherworld, anyway. I didn’t want him to spend his whole life trying to take you away from me. That would just be continuing disappointment. I’ll leave these two so they can run home and tell everyone what happened. Maybe next time they won’t try to ambush me during a nice afternoon at home with my Bulla.”

Traitorous tears flooded my eyes. “You… killed my father in cold blood. How could you? I thought… I thought you were going to let him go.”

“I left everyone else, though. Isn’t that good?”

Goku powered down and scooped me up off the ground, kissing my forehead gently before placing two fingers to his forehead. My eyes were glued to my father. He was gone. He was really gone.

We vanished from the battlefield.


	10. Denouement

Shenron could make any wish come true. He was infinite—Dende had adjusted him in recent years and the eternal dragon’s power was truly boundless. Goku was fused with him. They were connected in a spiritual way that granted him inexhaustible energy and the perk of having Shenron at his beck and call. No one could protect Earth like Goku. No one would ever match him in sheer strength.

So why did he murder my father?

I was inconsolable. Life became tumultuous and confusing again, tearing me between my consuming hatred of the Saiyan and the horrible affection I felt for him. I’d broken every piece of furniture in the house by the end of the week and smashed more than one wall while Goku looked on. He petted the baby bird with one huge index finger and fed it seeds.

It was torture in the Son household once again. It was unbearable. I searched high and low for the Dragon Balls so I could argue with Shenron about the terms of my immortality. Could he reverse it? Could he send me to a different dimension? If I was nice, maybe he’d eat me alive.

The worst part was that my father could easily be brought back to life with one simple wish. He hadn’t died of natural causes and Shenron was capable of reviving people he had already returned once. Death really was inconsequential to all of us. But Goku refused to let me use the Dragon Balls and spent his days repairing all the damage I did to the house. He knew I was unstable.

Mom showed up a few weeks after the fight with the entire group in tow. I hung behind Goku, peering around him to see how angry everyone was. To my surprise, none of them were mad. They were all leaning over like they didn’t have the energy to stand straight. Videl and Valese’s bellies were even more prominent than before and Valese had a gold band on her ring finger.

Videl didn’t have a wedding band anymore. My eyes flickered to Gohan. He was standing away from the group with one his hands stuffed in his pocket. His ring was gone, too. Pan was staring silently at the ground as my mother bargained with Goku for my release to dad’s memorial service. Everyone hurt.

Trunks hadn’t even come along. I wasn’t shocked or anything, considering I had been the cause of a lot of pain for everyone. Thanks to me, Goku was crazy, dad was dead, Videl and Gohan were divorced, and our entire group dynamic had been shattered. It was my fault. If I had been paying attention…

“Where’s Krillin?” Goku asked, looking around. “Is Piccolo here? What about Android 18? It’s been a long time since I saw any of them.”

“Piccolo returned to Namek,” Gohan said. “Krillin moved away again. He doesn’t want Marron around this kind of insanity. Can’t say I blame him.”

Videl’s hands clenched over her belly. “Pan and I will be moving, too. We’re going to live with dad in the United States for a while so she can start over fresh. Valese and Goten are considering coming along with us after how everything has… turned out.”

So everyone was leaving Mt. Paozu and Satan City thanks to me. I ducked under Goku’s arm to stand in front of my mother, who was blotting her eyes with her handkerchief. It was hard but I managed to raise my arms to offer her a hug. Hopefully Goku wouldn’t see it as a threat. He didn’t take very well to that kind of thing anymore. In his eyes, everyone wanted me.

My mother’s lower lip quivered and she burst into tears, immediately comforted by Videl. She walked away; leaving me feeling like a knife had been stabbed through my gut. I dropped my arms and Goku put a hand on my shoulder as the group disbanded, drifting apart with murmured excuses. Mortals were effervescent as the wind. Leaves doomed to wander where the breeze pushed them.

Gohan was still there after everyone else left. He was still dressed to the nines with a tie and black suit. He jerked his head toward the field and Goku glanced at me before reluctantly stepping outside to talk with his oldest son. I became one with the house again. Soon I’d adhere to the dry wall I smashed. I’d live in the woodwork and only come when called.

There was a black hole in my chest. Nothing could come out. Everything I felt was sucked in to be twisted around and mangled until I didn’t even know what I felt in the first place. I moved upstairs to check on our bird, which was getting ready to fly. He chirped happily when I offered him some seeds.

As I gently stroked the bird’s head until he fell asleep, I heard footsteps on the stairs. I turned slowly, entirely uninterested in what insanity I had to go through. Were we leaving Earth? That would be awesome. Then I didn’t have to know my heartbroken mother was crying herself to sleep fifteen minutes away from the incredibly powerful magical objects that could bring dad back.

It must have been frustrating for her to wake up and know there was no reason for dad to be gone. I knew it drove me up the _fucking wall_.

Goku entered the bedroom first and beamed when he saw me tending to our bird. Gohan hung back by the door with nothing but bad intentions on his face. A kiss on the forehead told me all I needed to know. They were up to something. That was his way of sucking up before he gave me bad news.

“Bulla,” he said, sitting beside me on the bed, “do you still talk to your friends from school?”

I laughed. “Of course not. I haven’t been there in forever and I don’t have my phone anymore.”

“Well Gohan and I had a good idea. You know your friend… Shoppa? I think that’s her name. She’s your age, right? Still in high school?”

“Yeah, Goku, she and I practically grew up together.” I was absently adjusting the bird’s towels, trying to make him more comfortable. Goku’s words went in one ear and out the other.

“We want her to come live here with us. Gohan doesn’t want to stay at his house with Videl leaving and he’d like his own friend to keep him company. If you could maybe talk to her and invite her over here, we might be able to convince her to stay with us. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

It took a couple seconds for his words to sink in. He was asking me to deliberately manipulate my friendship with Shoppa, lure her home with me, and bequeath her to Gohan. She would be his own personal pet like I was to Goku. I rolled my eyes and waved Goku off, tucking the bird in carefully. Shoppa wouldn’t even talk to me. There was no way she’d be willing to visit my house again.

A hand alighted on my thigh. “Of course, I might be willing to share you with Gohan again.”

I froze, unable to speak. No, Goku wasn’t going to do that. He was bluffing. It’d kill him to trade me around again and he promised me he wouldn’t. I was well behaved and I cared about him. Well, I had been kind of hard to control and violent in the past few weeks but that was his fault. God, why did he have to kill my father? It ruined everything.

Shoppa could get used to it just like I did. It wasn’t that hard if you stopped fighting and did what they wanted. Plus, she’d have me to show her how to act and how to read their faces. I’d have someone to keep me company during the day while Goku was out training…

Goodness. Here I was, making excuses again to put someone else through the same torment I’d suffered for endless weeks. When I failed to reply to Goku, he rose from the bed and jerked his head in my direction, causing Gohan to shrug off the wall and advance towards me.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” I said quickly. “I need a phone so I can call her but she probably won’t want to come here. Do I get props for trying?”

“Just call her,” Gohan said as he handed me his cell phone.

I fumbled with the on-screen keyboard, trying to remember Shoppa’s cell phone number. The two men watched me intently as the line rang. One… two… three…

The other end clicked. “This is Shoppa, who is this?”

“Oh, um, hi!” I said a bit too excitedly. “Hey, Shoppa. It’s Bulla.”

She was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. “Bulla? Really? Wow, never thought I’d hear from you again. What’s going on with you lately? Still living with Pan’s grandpa?”

“Yeah, that was what I wanted to talk to you about. We’re doing much better now and Goku said I can have friends over if I want. I promise nothing weird will happen and there won’t be any drama. Do you think you could visit? We found a cute baby bird we’re raising and—”

“Wait a second. You’re actually living with him? Are you two married or something? Isn’t he like super old? Pan must be so pissed off at you. She hasn’t been to school in a while.”

“I guess love knows no bounds.” I flinched when Goku sat beside me again and wrapped an arm around my waist. “We can talk more if you’ll come over. Please? It’s been so boring here without a girl to talk to. I bet we could go shopping, too.”

Shoppa kept balking and I kept wheedling to get my way. She gave in after a while and agreed to come over the same night. When I hung up the phone, Goku handed the phone back to Gohan and hugged me fiercely, stifling my breathing severely. I watched Gohan over his father’s shoulder as he gazed at the phone and thought about what was going to happen.

This wasn’t going to be a slow process. It would be swift and harsh. Gohan was hooked, exactly what Goku had wanted, and he needed his fix. Shoppa was human so she’d be even easier to control than I was. They had weaker minds than we did—emotion was their bastion and they were constantly at its mercy. I was happy at least half of me was descended from an unfeeling alien race.

While we waited, Goku talked with his son about building a few more rooms in the house. I was a bit upset that we wouldn’t be alone anymore. We’d have to listen to Shoppa screaming and crying every night for a couple of weeks. That would be annoying. Gohan wasn’t exactly quiet during sex, either. Hopefully they’d thicken the walls so I could sleep without interruption.

All three of us heard the car pull up. Gohan tugged on his tie as I hurried downstairs to greet my friend. We’d all live together and be happy. Maybe they’d become immortal, too. It was probably a good precaution. Goku had no problem stabbing his entire arm through my father’s chest so I’d imagine doing something even more gruesome to a human girl he barely knew wasn’t beneath him.

Shoppa was wearing a pretty blue dress with a big tote bag slung over her shoulder. She beamed when she saw me and I was hugged way too tightly yet again. Goku hung back near the stairs and lightly inclined his head to her. He couldn’t bear to stay away. He had to watch and listen to us.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Shoppa said. 

“Never been better.” The smile I put on felt heavy. “Goku said we can use the basement. We fixed it from the last time and it looks really nice now.”

She hesitated, eyeing Goku suspiciously. “Oh. Are you sure?”

A big grin broke out on Goku’s face and he headed upstairs, leaving Shoppa and I alone. I rolled my eyes and waved him off as I escorted her to the basement. That was where he’d want her, right? She’d be much easier to silence and then our bed wouldn’t get dirty. I hated dirty sheets.

We sat down on the big couch. 

_“It’s in our blood to dominate.”_

Hm. Was I technically dominating Shoppa? I knew what was going on but I was going ahead with it anyway. Maybe after all the crying and the deep shame I wanted to vent it somehow. Someone else had to feel the same misery I felt on a daily basis. I liked the control. I liked being in the loop.

_The couch was creaking and sliding across the floor. Sticky heat on my skin. It’s so hot. I want to cry but what the hell is the point? My tears mean nothing._

My friend smiled at me encouragingly and touched my hand. 

_Did this kind of evil exist inside everyone?_

“You look better,” Shoppa said. “You’re not as pale. Something on your mind?”

_“Now I understand.”_

I smiled coldly as Gohan appeared behind her, his bottomless black eyes glittering with excitement. We were the predators. She was the prey. It all made sense.

“Right as usual,” I said as his shadow loomed over her. “I have been thinking about something.”

Shoppa started to talk until she noticed the outline. Her brow furrowed but it was far too late. Gohan pounced.

Goku came downstairs to collect me while his son wrestled with Shoppa on the floor, struggling to cover her mouth and calm her down. It didn’t move me. I cocked my head when she reached an arm toward me, too terrified to start crying. There was a low whistle from the stairs.

“Bulla, come,” Goku said. “You did a good job. You get a reward.”

I gazed dispassionately at my friend for a bit longer and Gohan pinned her arms to her side so she couldn’t pester me for help. Our eye contact broke. She screamed.

My angel, my Goku, was smiling. He took my small hand in his and intertwined our fingers as he led me into our dimly lit home. As we ascended the stairs together, I closed my eyes and sighed. Had I really been like that? How pathetic. Life was Goku was heavenly. Nothing could surpass his perfection.

The basement door slammed shut and Shoppa’s shrieks were silenced.

I had found my nirvana.


End file.
